Road To Nowhere
by Collegepanda
Summary: “Jamie Swan uh?” The trucker looked at me tentatively. “Yup…” I said looking at the old run down diner. “Forks is 400 miles that way.” He pointed right. “What’s a cutie like you doing out here by yourself.” “Searching for my father."
1. Chapter 1

**Okay everyone I am going to try my hand at writing two stories! So this one is a vampire one while the other is a human one. So i promised alot of my readers i'd write this story and so i am..Here is my first chapter thanks to my beta**

**Miss Cullen -I Wish- **

* * *

The Pennsylvania snow whizzed by my window. "Honestly! Jamie writing about vampires?" My mother's fist hit the steering wheel lightly. "Are you trying to get us killed?"

My eyes closed as I took a deep breath inside the small Honda Civic my mother insisted she have. I turned my head to the side and stared at her long brown hair that ran down her shoulders. She was taking deep breaths although they were completely unnecessary. I have a feeling that sometimes she forgets, as much as I do, what we are. I stared at her golden eyes that seemed to be darkening, her lips parting letting out the her calming breaths.

"They asked me to write a story about a female finding empowerment!" I looked at her rolling my eyes. At least I tried to write the stupid essay. Mrs. Higgins, my literature teacher, wanted us to write about a female acting in a righteous way. It had to do with some book we had just finished reading, and while most of my classmates opted to write about Harriet Tubman, their moms, and Wonder Woman I chose to write about a female vampire.

Fortunately I found myself engrossed in writing the essay not only did I write about just one woman, I wrote about three. I finally understood the lesson was not to write about a woman gaining political power and such but when she became who she wanted. Unfortunately my teacher didn't find so much empowerment in the essay. She said it was completely "unethical" and "immature" and when I told her that the women in my essay had just as much power and respect, if not so even more, then compared to the women in my classmates essays she got angry.

I had a total rant going and I was even imaging an American flag being raised up behind my head and the powerful song building into it's grand finale. But before I could even get to the end of my rant she was calling my mom.

Bitch.

"Jamie." My mother relaxed into her driver seat. "What were you thinking going off on your teacher?"

"I was protecting my female characters! I'm pretty sure they appreciate it!" I snapped. I just wanted to hear that the essay I spent long hours working on was good. All I've heard so far was someone telling me how wrong or unsafe it was.

I told my mother she was completely crazy when she told me teenage girls are the biggest threat out there. My mother rolled her eyes. "Remind me to call her and apologize."

I rolled my eyes growing bored of this topic, I was clearly in no mood. I watched as our small little cabin came into view, my mother had this thing for seclusion. Our small red bricked cabin was miles away from town and in the middle of a large field, I thought it was creepy at first but now I'm kind of warming up to it.

As she turned off her car she sighed turning to look at me. "Jamie do we need to have another talk about.."

"No!" I threw my hands in the air. "No more talking about the keeping of our secret! I get it no more female vampires who kick ass!" I slid out of the passenger door slamming it behind me. I stomped my converse through the snow completely fuming, I tried to be a little creative and what did it get me? A detention for mocking the assignment and probably a long rant from my mother.

I entered the warm home and walked towards the kitchen my mother in tow. "Jamie maybe we should talk about home schooling.." My mother trailed off slowly letting the words fizzle in my brain. I closed my eyes letting the words whirl through me. My mother was always begging me to leave public school, she was scared that one day I'd snap and suck the blood from everyone. I got angry and turned my body away from her as she sat at the table looking through old mail.

The sounds of my day whirled around me. The faint bird chirps, the sound of the clock ticking, and even the sound of my mother's breath as she cursed under it looking at our bills. After I was sure the topic was dropped for now I turned my back and looked out the window.

I closed my eyes feeling my throat hurt just a bit, I pushed it to the back of my mind and walked to the fridge. I looked around the fridge that was full of the food only I liked. I grabbed a red apple and walked up to where my mother sat. I studied her face as she saw the bright red apple in my hands, it dropped a little but she shook her head returning her eyes to the bills.

"How much we owe this month?" I whispered looking at her.

"A lot more then last." She whispered looking into the distance.

"Maybe we can call grandma and grandpa?" I suggested sitting next to her.

She shook her head and smiled. "I can't sweetheart, I've ran to them too many times."

"Maybe you could sell some stuff on e-bay like one of my classmates moms…" I trailed off thinking of what we could sell.

"Jamie," I felt her cold hand fell on my warm one. "It's going to be okay." She smiled weakly.

I wanted to laugh at that statement, my mother wasn't human she didn't need groceries, light, or heat for that matter. I on the other hand need all of those things. I was still half human. I frowned as I thought about it more, my human part of me shrunk away every day little by little I became more like my mother.

Neither of us knew what to do or how to cope. I closed my eyes as my throat burned intensely as the apple slithered down passed my tongue. I felt like a burden…if it weren't for me we wouldn't even need a heater.

"I'm going to go do something creative with my life." I whispered standing up and discarding the once bitten apple.

My mother nodded understandably but spoke to stop me. "Can I read your essay?" She turned to stare at me with dark golden eyes. I nodded my head slowly walking away from the kitchen, I walked into the living room ignoring the grey walls as I found my book bag by the door.

Once I given my mother the essay I walked calmly back to my room climbing on the purple bed. "You want to hear the new one I wrote this afternoon?" I whispered looking at my reflection in a near by mirror. I felt silly knowing my mother could hear me talking to myself, it was something I did often. It just passed the time when I got bored.

I bent down picking up the guitar that laid by my bed. It's wooden frame was almost bigger then mine. I closed my eyes and played really softly at first.

Maybe if I sat in town and played I could earn some money for me and my mother. I shook my head with sorrow, everything was falling apart day by day. I began to pick up tempo of the soft strings. I played ever since I was ten, five years later and I'm still addicted.

'"Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love youYou're gonna believe themWhen you're fifteen and your first kissMakes your head spin 'roundBut in your life you'll do things greater thanDating the boy on the football teamBut I didn't know it at fifteen"

I continued playing the guitar looking for more words to the unfinished song. I was just about to sing out some new words when my mother opened the door with a worried look on her face.

"Where did you find these characters?" She walked quickly towards me.

"What do you mean?" I said pausing.

"How did you think of these characters?" My mother turned the paper to my line of view.

"I don't know mom they just came to me?" I shrugged. I wasn't lying although she looked at me like I was, I really did just dream these characters up.

"So you just made up the names Esme, Rosalie, and Alice?" She walked closer to me. My mother never smacked before but as I watched her face contort to many emotions I knew I couldn't chance this.

"Yea, just came to me." I shrugged looking down at the guitar I let out a low tune and looked back up at her. "Did you like the essay?"

"Jamie Marie Swan…" My mother opened her mouth but closed it. Her eyes followed in her mouths example. A few seconds ticked by. She opened her eyes again and looked down at me. "You are gifted." She smiled at me.

"Really? You think I'm a good daughter?" I perked my ears up.

"Yes…" She whispered staring at me with confusion.

"And that I could never do anything wrong?" I pressed.

"What did you do?" My mother's eyes narrowed.

"I…kind of….signed up for volleyball." I looked down.

"JAMIE MARIE!" She scolded me. "I told you can't play sports! You know your strength!"

"I couldn't help it!" I raised my hands in defense. "You know how competitive I can get!!"

"Jamie…" My mother sighed. "I swear you have his attitude but my grace." She smiled and turned her back to me while whispering to herself. "Who knew a half vampire could be so clumsy."

I frown pushing my guitar from my lap standing. "I wouldn't know." I whispered causing her turn around in my door frame she let out a frown.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She whispered before disappearing into the hallway.

She left me staring at the wooden door. I closed my eyes letting the anger pass me, I felt the sting of tears rise to my eyes but no tears flew from my eyes. I began to gasp like strangled hiccups, this is what I've come to know as my crying. I couldn't remember the last time I cried with tears.

I sat on the bed holding my drying throat. I felt anger wash through me, my mother could be so immature. Every time he came up she scurried away from me faster then she did human blood. I closed my eyes balling my fist up in my blanket underneath me. I just wanted answers, I just wanted to know who my father was.

I opened my eyes carefully, I felt so tired of these emotions and difficulties. I loved my mother but…

She wasn't my father.

I stood slowly and walked into my closet gathering my clothes for bed. I knew that I couldn't talk to my mother about anything dealing with the topic of the F word.

F word being father. Ironically enough is was almost as frowned upon as the word fuck.

_~*~_

_I sat up in the bed looking around, my eyes landed on the small girl in front of me. She was bouncing around excitedly her black spiky hair flying crazily in each direction. Her pale white skin glistened lightly in the morning sun that poured through the curtains behind her. The small pale room seemed to dull in her comparative beauty. _

_I sat up more completely bewildered, this wasn't my room. I looked at the pale blue walls and poorly matched brown carpet. _

_"Bella?" The girl placed a hand on my arm still bouncing excitedly. _

_"Uh?" I looked at her. I wasn't Bella…that was my mother. _

_"I know you hate it when I wake you up but still I can't wait!" She continued to jump up and down. She went on talking as if I wasn't staring at her like she completely lost her mind. I pushed the blanket off my and rush across the crappy rug. I had to find my mother she would get this crack pot out of my room. _

_I stopped when I passed the mirror. I looked in it and almost screamed, I was not me anymore. I was tall and pale…okay maybe that wasn't different but the brown hair and big doe like eyes was. The brown eyes weren't ones I knew so well but I knew my mother enough to know they were hers._

_I stared at mirror with obvious fear. _

_"Bella wait until we get you get dressed! I can't wait for you to see your prom dress tonight is going to be the night of your dreams!" The girl jumped up wrapping her cold arms around me. I shivered still looking in the mirror. When the door opened rather hastily._

_"Dress delivery." I watched as the blonde stomped into the room as if she owned it. I stared at her skin as it sparkled a smidge just as the other girls. The blonde's bronze eyes seemed intoxicating just like the rest of her. She was clearly a very beautiful woman. _

_"Alice she's barely ready!" The woman waved her arms at us._

_"Calm down I can get her ready soon enough." The girl supposedly named Alice placed her hand on my shoulder. _

_"What? Ready for what? What are we doing?" I said looking at both._

_"Rosalie come on let's get her ready." Alice waved the woman over. _

_They continued on like I wasn't even here. "Stop it!" I stomped my foot but I was being dragged away. _

_"We got the best dark blue dress for you!" Alice giggled._

~*~

I jolted awake with a small gasp. I looked at my clock and saw the red numbers glowing back at me.

3:00 a.m.

I took in a sigh and rubbed my face, what a scary dream. I looked around my room and pulled back the covers. I knew I wouldn't fall back asleep, it was one of those half human half vampire things. I lost hours of sleep each year. I was down to only four hours of sleep a night.

I opened my bed room door and smiled slowly to myself when I saw my mother sitting at the table holding her camera. Nothing made my mother happier then that camera, she had picked up photography and is currently working as one selling small time photos for odd jobs.

I walked forward causing her to look up at me with a smile. "How was your sleep?"

"Eh, the usual." I looked down. "Mom, did you go to prom?"

"Yes.." Her smile turned into a sad one. "I did."

"Oh…" I whispered pulling at my pajama shirt. "I was just wondering." I shrugged looking up at her still sad face. "What's wrong?"

"I have to give up photography." She whispered.

"What?!" I sat up my chair flying out from under me. "Why?"

"Jamie calm down…"

"You love photography!"

"I know I do." She looked back up at me. "But it doesn't pay enough for us."

"You mean for me.." I whispered looking down. If I wasn't human…

"No don't you dare place this on yourself." My mother scolded. "It's to pay for the house too…" She whispered.

"Mom…" I squeaked.

"Honey, I'm sorry I just…I didn't plan any of this." She closed her eyes looking down. They almost began to turn black now. She must be really thirsty.

"We can find a way!" I tried to add some hope.

"We can't. There's no way, Jamie I've taken a year off my life when I changed I never attended college…." She whispered.

"Mom now you can!"

"I don't have the money. Everything cost money." She placed the camera on the table. "I was thinking maybe I could get a job at the general store in town."

"Mom, that job is so…ordinary.." I felt my disappointment slip into my words.

"It pays." She said back quickly.

"Maybe if we get in contact with my father he can send us som-" She hissed loudly jumping from her seat.

"We will survive with out his help." My mother grabbed her camera and placed it on an end table.

"Mom…" I whispered picking it back up and looking at her. "He owes us.."

"Jamie go to your room." Her eyes were darkening deeper with in the second.

I was playing with fire, talking about him while she was thirsty. "Mom…" I whispered placing the camera back down. "Please…"

"Jamie." She warned.

"Mom!" I snapped causing her to look at me roughly. I felt my body tremble, I was getting so angry. "He owes us something for all of this!" I waved my hand around me.

"Jamie drop it! Ed-…" She stopped and took a breath. "He is no longer in this discussion."

"Maybe not for you, but for me he is!" I almost screamed.

"Drop it!" My mother hissed.

"Stop being selfish!" I pleaded back.

"I'm not!" My mother looked as if she was hurt.

"You won't ask him for the money we need, you won't let me get to know who he was! You won-"

"Why do you need to know about anyone who walked away?" My mother snapped.

Oh yea I knew she was thirsty, that's when she gets her meanest. "Because! I need someone to explain to me the venom that beats through my slowly beating heart!" I lashed back.

"I told you everything you need to know!" My mother snapped back.

"No!" I stomped my foot. "You're just as new at this as I am! You can teach me anything human but you can not teach me all that is not!"

My mother looked as if I had smacked her. "I have been with through for the last fifteen years! Through everything from first crush to first blood taste!"

I pulled at my hair and slammed my fist down on the table I opened my mouth to speak but the table creaked under my fist and collapsed. My eyes widened as the wood snapped and fell to the floor with a loud boom.

I had always been strong…but never this strong.

I closed my eyes and turned away from the destruction. With my back to her and the table I spoke the last words of this fight. "You had my father there to hold your hand and explain to you the ways of this life. He had decades of experience…You do not." I sighed before I walked into my room. Some how the fight had changed it's course and left both of us hurting in it's dust.

I pulled my knees to my chest, it was early dawn and the sun light flittered into my room. I closed my eyes not wanting to watch the sick glow of my skin.

Every day it was worse.

Everyday I became more and more like a vampire. Everyday I thirsted for blood, every year I slept less, my skin began to glow more. I was becoming one and I didn't know what to do.

My mother and I talked rarely about it but I knew the day she changed. She told me it was the day she gave birth to me. If you asked me today if I knew when my heart was going to stop beating I would tell you I have no idea. It was a risk everyday I went to school, a risk that in the middle of P.E. class my heart would stop and I'd become one. But if you asked me tomorrow if I knew that the day I would die would be then, I'd say no.

I was in denial.

Truth was I didn't want to change until I met him. The man who was responsible for my existence.

I stood up and walked to my bedroom door, I knew my mother wouldn't tell me about him because she had her reasons. Maybe he was a drunk, maybe he was a rapist, maybe he was a man who did not want a child, maybe maybe maybe. But the there was one thing that was not a maybe, he was my father.

My bare feet smack the surface of the hard wood floors of my home. How long was I suppose to wait until I met him? I turned the into the kitchen listening for my mother's unneeded breathing. I paused in the empty kitchen. Where was she? I looked at the ceiling in wonder about my life as I turned around and headed to the living room. I brushed my fingers along the wall as I walked.

"Mom?" I whispered lowly. She would hear me either way.

Silence.

I dragged my finger nails against the chipped red paint that covered our walls. My feet made the soft padding noise as I walked through my house. She wouldn't leave without saying anything, she would never just leave.

All of sudden my vision blackened and I felt my lung squeeze for air. I felt like I was being under water by surprise, I took a deep breath but was unable to let it out. I stopped along the wall leaning on it, I closed my eyes leaning against the wall. I put my head in my right hand trying to hard to breathe but it was useless, I tried to move my left hand but it felt permanently glued to the wall. I turned to see my hand through the darkening vision. My index finger was at the corner of a frame, before I could look at the picture that was in the frame my vision completely disappeared.

_~*~_

_"Let me help you." The voice snarled through the phone. My mother growled into the phone as the voice continued._

_I looked around and saw I was in my home, I was sitting in….I was sitting in my high chair. I looked back at my mother's glowing red eyes and her pale skin. She had her hand against the wall, against the picture frame. _

_"Leave us alone." _

_"Isabella, do not be stubborn. You have your pride, but you also have my child with you and I will not let it starve away or be hurt by it's mother." The voice was smooth, it wasn't threatening it seemed as if he was pleading with her out of sadness. _

_How could I hear this? The distance between my mother and I was a good four feet. I brought my hands to my face and saw the tiny fingers that connected to my hand. How old was I? _

_"I will not hurt her." she growled._

_"Let me help, with anything…" _

_"Stop sending me checks, I do not want your help." _

_Checks?_

_"Isabella…."_

_"Just…" She closed her fiery red eyes. "Stop." She hung up the phone and set in on the table looking at me with a small frown. _

_She picked up the envelope that laid on the wooden table and walked towards the closet, she opened it slowly and reached up for a blue box. She pulled it down her chest and opened it placing the envelope inside. She turned to look at me once more before placing it on the shelf and picking up the camera that she still had to this day. _

_"Mommy is going to go now." She whispered pulling a pair of sunglasses from her pocket. She obviously still hadn't found out the perfect trick to hide her eyes. "The babysitter is just arriving." She whispered looking at me. _

_Babysitters? Oh yea I remember those, however my last one I had was when I was five and I bit one on her finger. My mother panicked and began taking me with her on her jobs._

_I watched my mother leave as the red head girl skipped in almost to perky. "We are going to have so much fun!" She looked at me as my mother left. _

_My child eyes darted once more the closet before landing on the babysitter who was chatting away. _

_"You are so cute Jamie!"_

~*~

Air.

I finally felt air filling my lungs, then my knees collapsed under me. I felt cold hands on my forehead then on my face. I heard her smooth voice calling to me asking me questions before pulling me into a hug.

I felt like I had just been pushed into water with all my clothes on. My body felt heavy as my mother hugged me tightly.

"Jamie what happened?" Her voice was soft but panicked.

I opened my mouth but closed it. I don't know what happened, it was so similar to my dream but in my dream I was my mother not me. In the dream I had met Alice and Rosalie the figments of my imagination, in this…I saw what I vaguely remembered in my childhood.

Did I remember that phone call? No.

Did I remember that babysitter? No but I remember others.

Did I remember that blue box? Yes.

"I just…got a little thirsty?" I offered in which sounded more like a question.

She smiled slowly and pulled me into a hug, "Come with me." She pulled me up and tugged me through the kitchen. Her eyes were bright topaz, she went hunting. "Here." She handed me a small metal cupped.

She always did this for me, she always found a small animal to drain it's blood into a cup.

Sure, it's a little morbid when you look at it in the human eye. But when you look at it like a vampire, it was the most nurturing thing a mother could do. Aside from you know…not eating her half human baby.

I had so many questions. I would have dismissed this…daydream like I had my dream but…It seemed to real. I brought the cup to my lips looking at her through my eyes lashes.

"I'm thinking you could stay home today." She whispered. "Away from school just this once." She smoothed out my hair.

"I got a test today." I whispered to the glass. I tilted my head back and let the liquid douse the fire that was building in my throat. I would tell her I had to go school but I would come back home. There was a closet I need to check out when she was gone.

"Oh.." She whispered looking at me with a small frown. This was my classic mother, her apology for earlier. She wanted to make up for it by classic bonding time, and I would bond with her. But later…after I find out what the hell that daydream was about.

"We'll hang out later." I whispered placing the metal cup on the counter besides us. "Thank you." I whispered before turning around and walking into the bathroom.

XxX

I stared at the empty drive way before I walked up the small pathway towards the door. She was gone, probably hunting for work. I pushed open the front door dropping my book bag where I always did.

I rushed to closet and stood in front of door. I placed my hand on it and let out a small whimper. Was I ready for this? Was I ready to find out just small piece of the puzzle that was my father?

Your damn skippy I was.

I yanked open the door and clicked on the light. I looked up at the shelf and curse loudly. I was too short to see, I walked quickly into the dinning room ignoring the broken table that laid on the floor still and pushed the chair into the closet.

I stood on the chair and look at the bare shelf, a few spiders, dust bulls and a dead moth.

So much for finding out my incredible secrets. So much for finding out the mystery. Why couldn't this be like the cartoon Scooby-doo? Where I'd bust open the closet finally being clever enough to know that the answer to my mystery was in my closet right under our noses. At least that's the way Velma always worked it in the series. She always found out the clues and answers. I leaned against the shelf partly depressed, I knew this was too easy. Like I could open a blue box and out would come my father.

I sighed and causing a few dust particles to fly into the air and into my nose. Then I felt it, the tickle sensation in my nose that spread to my forehead to my nostrils. I sneezed. And not one of those girly sneezes it was a loud obnoxious sneezes. I fell backwards onto my ass causing the chair to wobble a bit and make a few coats fall.

Stupid human tendencies.

After standing up I pulled the chair from the closet and placing it back where I found it. I felt like a big idiot, I walked back to the closet and bent down to pick up a few of the fallen coats. As I came back up with two in hand I froze.

There was a small line in the back of closet, I could faintly see it but it was there. I dropped the coats again and walked over them towards the wall. I placed my finger on the line and felt it fall in a bit, almost like I pressed into a door. I ran my finger along the line tracing it until I came to the end. Then I continued to trace upwards, above the line it felt like a normal wall. I picked up my finger and brought it back to the line, I pulled it over to the right and smiled. Another line only my problem was that it was covered by the old wall paper. I reached back over to my left towards the line I first spotted and put my pinky nail under it. I peeled off a small piece of the weakening wallpaper.

Score. I was wrong, I wasn't like Velma in Scooby-Doo. I was like Daphne, accidentally finding those trap doors no one else ever saw.

A wooden panel behind it. Sure my mom will kill my ass if she sees this but I don't really give a fuck right now. I took a deep breath and pulled one long strip of the paper away from the wall underneath.

God help me if this isn't a doorway to my father I will surely burn this closet.

_"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"_ The dark voice of a man filled my brain instantly as the wallpaper fell the floor beside my knees.

I froze. Who the hell was that? I stood instantly and ran out of the closet looking around my home. "Hello?" I whispered. I walked carefully towards the kitchen looking around for the sign of an intruder.

_"I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death."_ The woman's voice was low. Her tone oddly familiar. I turned wildly expecting to see the man and woman behind me. They had sounded so close, but now as my eyes darted around the room I knew I was going crazy. Great now I'm hearing voices in my head. I walked carefully back into the closet and sat in front of the door, I picked my hand up once more and ripped the paper away.

For the next five minutes that is what I did. Listen to the ripping of cheap paper brought from a near by home improvement store, and the occasional banter of a man and woman. I stopped every so often as the voices played in my head. I felt so confused, first vivid dreams now hearing things.

If I told my mother she just might have me committed.

The voices and ripping noise were short lived when the wooden door was finally uncovered. I placed my pale hand against the cold wood. I could not tell you what I was hoping to happen, but when nothing happened I felt a little sadden. I mean this was an important moment shouldn't my hand like get shocked with an electric bolt and I finally know what I'm doing is right? Or is that only in the movies as well?I looked at the splinter filled door and saw the small gold latch, it was so small that I almost missed it. I took a deep breath and slightly pulled.

With a creak and a release of dust it opened a small black hole. It the was size of a trunk really, maybe a few inches bigger. I frowned at how dark it was, I was always a little scared of the dark ever since I was little. I never understood why, but I believed it made me almost like my mother.

She was scared of the unknown. Things such as my father and me, yea that kind of unknown.

While I was scared of the dark and things it concealed or maybe even the things it pointed out. In the darkest of corners even the faintest of light can appear a thousand times brighter.

I picked myself up and walked quickly to my room, I opened a few drawers looking for a light of some sort. I walked into the kitchen and pulled open a few more drawers, how could we not have flashlights? As I slammed the drawer closed I heard the clattering claws of Oreo on the porch in the back. I sighed as I walked to the dog doors locking it. I loved her but she can be a snitch sometimes, and it was then as I locked the doggy door I saw the flashlight standing under our wine rack.

Boo-ya

I grabbed the flashlight and raced back to the closet. I stood in the closet closing the door behind me. I looked at the open black hole that seemed to make this seem all the more creepier. I thought about spiders, rats and even bats. I looked down at my ripped jeans and overly large sweatshirt, true it wasn't exactly Gucci and Chanel but still….

With a sigh I dropped my knees turning on the flashlight. It wasn't that deep and it contained two boxes, with a smile I climbed into the hole. I ignored the nagging voice in my head that recited the plot to Alice in Wonderland, and how she almost died in the end.

I sat carefully in front of the boxes and touched the edges of the boxes. What was in here? Body parts? Letters? Memories?

I pulled the cardboard flap open with my free hand. I took in a deep breath as I saw the blue sparkly box on top of a pile things. I pulled it from the box and looked at it's glitter under the light, it seemed almost faded but still vibrant.

I placed the flashlight handle in my mouth and used my two hands to pull the lid away to discover the surprise.

Boy was I surprised.

Checks, tons of them. Check after check addressed to my mother, the checks where withered and hard to read. I let out a small gasp but then flash light fell out of my mouth. I let out a curse word and reached for the fallen light. I closed the blue box and placed it back inside the other box.

XxX

I was spread out on my carpet looking through each box. There were seven hundred checks in all, thousands of dollars in our name. I placed the blue box aside and stared at it for a long while.

Who were these from? Why hadn't we used them? Why were we struggling?

I pulled the next box closer to me. I pulled out a small green blanket and smiled, it looked like a baby blanket. I brought it closer to my face to feel it's soft fabric I ran my thumb over it's gold stitching.

"E.A.M"

It wasn't my mother's baby blanket, and it wasn't mine. I placed it besides my waist and dove back into the box. I pulled out many things, man sweat shirts, dead roses, jewelry, etc. It was almost like a memory box on it's own. I pulled one of the over sized sweater shirts to my nose and smelled the pinewood and mint. I buried my nose deeper into the sweater and frowned.

It seemed so…heartbreaking.

These boxes all seemed to seep heart break. I looked at the boxes and placed the sweater on my lap; what happened? What went on almost 16 years ago?

I opened the next box and saw that it was barely full. I pulled out a few more clothes and gift boxes full of jewelry. I pulled out a medium size black box, it was heavy as I placed it on the floor. I lifted the lid and let out a gasp.

Pictures.

Many of them, I started to rifle through them. Pictures of my mother and some dark skinned man with long black hair. My mother with a woman who sported spiky hair, my mother with a girl who had long blonde hair. Pictures of my mother just being happy.

When was the last time I witnessed this?

My Christmas concert when I was five and I had to sing? The first time I strummed my guitar? The first time I told her happy mother's day?

She looked deliriously happy in these photos. I pulled them closer to my face and frowned as I studied them with concentration. I began to go through them quickly, I was looking for him. But then I felt dumb because…I didn't know what he looked like.

Then came the pictures all the way at the bottom of the box. I froze as I looked at the picture, I could tell my mother took it. The angle of the picture, the way the sun streamed through the trees in the background. It was my mothers trade marks of her photography.

I pulled the photo closer to my face, his skin sparkled in the splash of light. To a human it would look like a glare from a glass or even from the angle. I knew however, that wasn't the case. His bronze hair was unruly and it stood up in different directions, his topaz eyes sparkled as his lips were pulled into a smile. He wore a large grey sweater shirt. It was a facial shot, it was the shot were the face was suppose to be the main focus part.

I scrambled to my feet and ran towards my vanity mirror. I placed it by the mirror and let my eyes wonder to the mirror. At first I looked at the window behind me and how the sun barely peered through the clouds lighting my room dimly. Then they wondered to the girl who stood in the mirror.

My mud-green eyes stared back at me. I remember how I used to hate my eyes, how I would compare them to swamp water. As I got older they had specks of topaz in them, thanks to the constant animal blood. I looked back at his skin then at mine.

The pale structure in his face, the way the marble skin pulled up around his teeth. I looked back at my face, the canvas of pale skin and specks of glitter that danced. I suddenly did not find the skin of glitter ugly, but as a sign of being powerful.

Then my eyes wondered to his hair, the bronze locks that were untamed and wild. I stared back at my hair, the waist length brown hair. Then the stripe.

I had the stripe since I was born, I never understood it till now. I did not understand it then but now…it held new meaning. I now understood why every time I clung to the thick highlight of my hair my mother flinched. I now understood why, when I was nervous, I clung to the stripe out of habit. I now understood why I never dyed in to brown.

The bronze stripe of hair started at my scalp and cupped around my face. I always kept it shorter then the rest of my hair. Many people believed it was a artificial highlight, it was too perfect, to centered. I lifted my pale fingers and traced the bronze stripe down my face.

It was him.

My piece of him. What made me like him.

I looked back at the photo and I just stared at it. I brought it closer to my chest looking in the mirror. I felt them. The sting of tears.

In the movies, the girl cried because she found her father. She finally knew what he looked like, she finally found out that she had a piece of him all along and suddenly felt closer to the kindred spirit.

But in this life I cried because I wasn't any closer, any happier. I was miserable because I would never be able to run into this man's arms and tell him the day I had in school. I would never be able to hear what his laugh sounded like, I would never be able to bond with him. I cried because I could find all the pictures in the damn free world and it wouldn't bring me any closer to him. I cried because even as I looked at this picture and then at my face I still felt the same, like I was looking at a stranger. He knew I was alive, he knew who I was…he knew my address. Yet he didn't come for me.

I turned to the pile of things in my room. I walked towards the black box and placed the picture in the box and picked up a new one. A picture of my mother and him, both smiling happily as they played on a tire swing.

I closed my eyes and dropped the pictures. I was crying, real tears, because this pain was not like the pain I got when I jammed my finger, it wasn't like the pain in my throat when I haven't taken a sip of blood in weeks. This pain was human pain. It was the most human I ever felt in my fifteen years of life, I didn't know if I was abandoned or stolen from him.

I suddenly found myself growling as the tears burned down my face like acid. I picked up the things in my floor and began throwing them back into the boxes. I grabbed the green blanket and froze.

~*~

_"Edward…" a man with blonde hair stood in a shadowy doorway. His bronze eyes scanned the burned room then his eyes landed on the seventeen year old boy who sat on a crate in the middle of the scorched room. The room walls were marked with black soot, the furniture as burned and reeked of a smoke. The home smelled like an astray. _

_"Carlisle…" The boy pulled the green blanket to his chest. "Please just leave." The bronze haired boy closed his fire red eyes. _

_"Edward, we have to go soon." Carlisle whispered. _

_"It was the color of his eyes….my eyes.." the boy pulled the green blanket away from his body to study it. "I wanted to give it to my child someday. I've kept it all these years."_

_"Edward…" Carlisle walked forward grabbing the boy. "We have to go now…the civilians are coming to burn the rest of the house down." _

_"They'll burn me along with it." The boy whispered into the blanket. "I've lost them." _

_"And if you died it would put your mother's last words to waste." Carlisle whispered in a soft voice. _

_"I could never picture living without my parents…"_

_"I will help you get by…" _

_"I will miss them." _

_"I know you will." Carlisle whispered. _

_The boy pinched the blanket between his fingers. "I can never be a Masen again…" _

_"I'm sorry…" Carlisle whispered. _

_"I will have to be a Cullen won't I?" Edward whispered. _

_"You don't have too.." _

_"It's the right thing to do.." Edward frowned. _

_~*~_

Edward Masen? Was that his name?

I laid diagonally on my bed. The boxes in the far corner of my room, it was around noon and my mother would arrive home soon.

The school probably informed her of my absence.

I fiddled with the green blanket that laid in my hands. This was a difficult afternoon, as much I would have loved to believe I was finally getting closer to my father I was wrong. I felt planets away from him, who was this man that was my father? He did not look like a rapist, nor did he look like an alcoholic.

I brought my hands to my forehead trying to rub out the thoughts of pain.

I heard the front door slam close and a purse hit the table. "Jamie?" Her voice carried through the house.

I sat up looking at my bedroom door expectedly. I stuffed the green blanket under my pillows just as the door opened.

"Hi." I whispered.

"What happened? Why didn't you go to school?" She was by my side in quick strides feeling my forehead.

"I was just a little thirsty." I whispered. It was a total lie.

"Jamie you can't just skip school because your thirsty, you are going to have to learn to resist it at some point." My mother kissed my head. She froze. "I smell dust…and…" she turned sharply to the boxes in the corner.

Damn she was good.

She stood up shakily looking at the boxes back to me. I stood as well looking at the floor, what ever she could say to me it wouldn't hurt anymore then the rest of this afternoon.

"Jamie…" My mother growled. "Where did you find these?"

"In the hid away in back of the dinning room closet." I spoke softy.

"Why did you go in there?" My mother walked towards the boxes.

"Because I had to know." I whispered, I was too tired to lie she had done enough of that for the best of us.

"How did you.."

"I just did." I cut her off. I wasn't going to share with her my dreams. Her eyes looked at me, they had so many emotions running through them.

I remember when I was ten I watched this movie about a man and a woman who fell in love. The man was a rude artist who always cursed at people, but the woman was a kind gentle soul who never felt hate. When the couple finally met she told the man, "The eyes are windows to your soul." I spent years thinking that was true.

Now I stand here looking at my mother and her eyes and I doubted that quote. I saw betrayal in her eyes, I saw pain, but most of all I saw innocence. My mother was not a soul of betrayal, and my mother's soul was not a pained one, and I would never guess my mother as innocent. Her eyes made me want to say sorry but her tone of voice made me want to yell.

She turned sharply from me and stacked the boxes on top of each other before picking them both up and leaving the room. I didn't stop her, I had already seen what was in them. I stood standing looking at the now empty corner of my room. I heard her footsteps come back towards room, she paused at the doorway. "Jamie.." She was whispering.

I turned my eyes to look at my window, the sun was gone and the clouds have over taken the sky. "Edward." I whispered.

I heard her body stiffen and I heard her small gasp. It wasn't a surprise gasp but a gasp of pain it was as if I smacked her in the face. In some way, I had.

"What about him?" She said in the silence. I was hurting her by forcing her to look into the past she was desperately trying to hide from me. I was in no mood for games, I had enough of her poker face and lies. I was going to force her hand at this game.

"Is he my father?" I whispered, out of the corner of my eye I was looking at the green blanket that laid under my pillow.

"Yes.." My mother whispered. It was like pulling teeth out of her, she just wouldn't give up with out a fight.

"What was his last name?"

"Jamie…"

"What is it?" I couldn't help but snap. "What is my biological last name?" I spun around.

This whole situation was off. Here I stood fifteen years old yelling at my twenty year old mother. I was testing dark waters here, she could punish me, she could yell at me but right now I didn't care.

"Your biological last name?" My mother's eyes darkened.

"Yes." I answered with the same tone.

"Swan, that is your last name because I was the one who was here for you all this time." My mother seethed.

"He sent checks…why are you putting us through this crap if he sent us money?" I whispered softer.

My mother stared at my with anger, she did something I was not ready for. She grabbed my bedroom door knob and slammed the door closed. I heard the back door open then close.

I looked at the ceiling. Then back at my feet, everything was so normal before this. Before these daydreams made their ways into my life. Now everything was strained, my mother was hurt and I was angry. I turned to my guitar and picked it up sitting on my bed.

I wondered to myself if he played anything. My mother was not a musician, so I wondered if my father was. Was he a drummer? Maybe he was a singer?

I felt my fingers draw along the guitar strings. I closed my eyes, I was reaching some where deep into my heart. "Inspire me." I whispered to the air. I was hoping that maybe he heard me, where ever he was. I was hoping maybe he could send something to me. I closed my eyes and traced my fingers along the strings, where was he…

I had to find him…


	2. It Leads Us Here

**Okay it's been a while i know...its just...i've been busy with AP and as i post this i am suppose to be studying for my AP Psychology test tomorrow :( But i had to post this first!**  
_But even the sturdiest ground  
Can shift and can tremble and let us fall down…  
Kindly unspoken  
You show your emotion  
And silence speaks louder than words  
It's lucky I'm clever  
Cause if I didn't know better  
I'd believe only that which I'd heard_

_"Kindly Unspoken" by Kate Voegele_

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

**"Adventure must start with running away from home"**

I was laying in bed that night listening to my mother talk into the phone with my grandmother. She sounded so sad and I felt guilty for being the one that put that tone in her voice. I reached under my pillow and pulled out the green blanket. I studied it for a long while, where was he? My mother told me few things about her past, at least up the point where she move from Arizona. I never knew where she moved to, or why. I pushed the bed sheets off my body and walked to my bed room door. I still held the blanket in my hand as I listened closely to her words.

"She just found them." My mother trailed off. She paused for a few minutes then spoke again. "Mom I don't want her exposed to Edward….I just don't want her too.."

I turned to my window looking at the snow that painted the field. I listened to her whispers as I crawled back into bed I dozed off rather quickly.

I woke up to silence, the soft click of a clock, the cricket outside my window in the December cold. I pushed myself up and looked at the clock. I frowned, I had only gotten an hour of sleep. I crawled out of bed and into the kitchen, there was no one there. I looked at the back door that was slight ajar, I walked towards it seeing my mother outside sitting in the snow looking at the stars in the sky.

I let out a small sigh and walked out into the cold air. "Mom?" I said above the whispering winds.

"Jamie?" She answered.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"I'm sorry too." She bent her head down letting the winds comb through the strands. Her brown hair fell like a curtain covering the secrets she didn't want to tell.

I stepped out onto the cold ground. The snow squished between my toes but I barely felt it's chill, I carried myself across the lawn and sat next to her.

"You'll catch your death out here." She whispered.

"I don't know if I can really die or not." I whispered back causing her to chuckle. Her pale hand ran through my hair.

"You are my angel. The best thing that has happened to me." She said as she pulled me to her chest.

I listened to her heart beat. Then I felt it again, the water filling my lungs, the labored breathing.

~*~

"_You are my own personal angel." His soft features were clearer. His topaz eyes burning into mine, I turned my head to the side. I was her again, I was my mother. His arms locked around me as we walked through the hallways ignoring the murmurs and growing rumors. I watched the blue lockers as we traveled passed them. I looked back up at him, his tall stature and sharp jaw line. The bronze hair was shining in the dim lights above. _

_He was my father. _

"_Edward!" A burly voice interrupted my intake of surroundings. I turned to see a man who was built like the incredible hulk. _

"_Emmett." My father nodded with a smile. _

"_We going to the party tonight?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows. _

"_I don't know." Edward whispered looking at me. "Do you want to go?" _

_I did not say anything, however Emmett laughed and my father shook his head. _

"_She's funny man." Emmett smiled down at me. "Maybe you were meant to be a Cullen."_

_A growl erupted from my father. "She will never be like a monster."_

_~*~_

"Jamie?" My mother shook me.

I opened my eyes, we were still outside and it seemed like only seconds passed.

"Cullen?" I whispered just as my breath returned.

She growled and shook her head standing up leaving me in the snow. "Jamie Marie, I thought we talked about this."

Yet as she talked about pain in memories I couldn't help myself in going over all that I saw. My father or so I hope he was, was in _my _memories. Were these my memories or memories passed down to me by the spiritual gods of earth. I was not around in the times where my mother was just a few years older then me.

How was I remembering? How was I seeing all that she did not want me to see? I stood gently turning my back on my ranting mother.

I had very few options left; I could find this man and find out the truth, or I could stay here in my small Pennsylvania home in nearing mid-December and wish to Santa that this year would be the year my mother would tell me her history.

Neither option seemed so appealing.

I was a half girl half vampire, traveling into the winter's storms looking for a lost man who seemed content in being lost. Traveling to no where was dangerous all around, but I could do it. I was a predator, a strong creature that could end a person's life in a flex of a muscle. But that would mean I would leave home….leave my mom…and I couldn't break her this way.

I couldn't stay either and watch us both break.

I closed my eyes as I entered my room pulling at the green baby blanket. I needed him like I needed a glass of water. Part of me needed it and other half of me didn't see the importance of it. I need to bring that other half to realize that my father was important. Even though he was never there for me as a younger child, even though he never kissed the scrapped knees or see me in my eighth grade graduation he was still my father.

I looked up into the window above my bed looking at the night cloud roll by, I made the decision then. The minute I find out any sort of clue as to where he may be, I would go for him I would retrieve him from the fiery depths of my mothers past and bring him back into our lives.

I just hoped that my rapid dropping heart rate and steadily growing need for blood didn't divert me from the mission.

X

"Isabella Swan?" The voice was almost to nasal for me to stand.

"Hold please." I muttered.

It was a Saturday morning, three days after my revelation to hunt for my dad. Unlike many American kids who slept in on Saturdays or even woke up early to watch re-runs of Danny Phantom, I was here…a weird location so far from my own home.

To say I was peeved was an understatement.

"Mom." I muttered with my hand over the receiver. I looked down at her as she laid on her stomach with her camera lifted to her right eye. It's focal point on some damned bird in a tree, or something.

"Wait." She hissed, I could hear the lenses zoom.

I growled pulling the cell phone back to my ear. "She's busy." I snapped. This was fucking ridiculous, it was morning! This unsurprisingly was my argument from this morning:

_A few hours earlier….._

"_It's seven in the morning!" Jamie stood up from the couch setting the remote on the couch. _

"_Jamie you don't sleep anyway, you have multiple hours of time to watch pointless TV." Bella adjusted the cap on her head. She pulled the camera to her chest turning to face her daughter. _

"_It's still immoral!" Jamie stomped her foot._

"_Please just go get dressed." _

"_Why do I want to watch you shoot photos of Moose and parrots?!" Jamie waved her hands above her head._

"_It's deer and finches." Bella retorted with a smile. _

"_It's seven in the morning! It's to early to appreciate nature!"_

"_Well I'll take you hunting afterward." Bella bribed. _

"_I've never been hunting…" Jamie said suddenly. "Let me find my cargo pants!" _

_-_

"Will you please get her un-busy? This is rather important." The nasal voice snapped back at me.

I looked down at my mother then back at the phone. "Look Fran Drescher my mother is busy with work." I smiled at her gasp to the nick name I had given her.

"Jamie!" My mother snapped yanking the phone away from me. She walked a few feet away from me muttering apologies.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the camera she had dropped in the snow. I looked up at the tree with out leaves and frowned.

To me none of this was nature. It was nature at it's lowest point, the trees were bare missing the leaves that once graced them with beauty and life. The ground was covered in ice sealing away animals and green grass, the skies were gray and shady you couldn't even see the stars at night.

How is this beauty?

I turned slowly to look back at my mother who seemed to become serious. I pulled the camera to my eye and snapped a quick picture.

I turned around pulling the camera back to my eye looking around the park. People sat at benches talking while others moved brisk fully through the park trying to escape the cold weather. I sighed turning my camera to a store looking at it slowly I saw a girl with wild red hair holding hands with a blonde boy. They seemed to being admiring a red coat in the store window.

I smiled and sighed. Romance, I wondered many things. Would I ever get to experience it? Another question about my life after the change.

"Jamie." My mother's voice was sharp. I turned quickly to look at her.

"What I do?"

"That was my boss."

"Why is she calling you on the job?" I said with a innocent smile.

"She wanted me to stop…they are pulling the article." My mother sighed putting her head down, the brown hair covering her face.

"Oh…" I whispered ringing my hands together.

"I have to go job hunting anyway." She muttered. I frowned staring at her topaz eyes.

"Mom…what about hunting?" I whispered.

"Another time Jamie." She growled walking passed me.

X

"_I am moving through the crowd_

_Trying to find myselfFeel like a guitar that's never playedWill someone strum away?And I ask myselfWho do I wanna be?Do I wanna throw away the key?and invent a whole new meand I tell myselfNo One, No OneDon't wanna beNo OneBut me.."_

I sang to myself as I sat on the bench. I looked around the park once more, my mother was off in some store. My pale white skin seemed to be prickling at cold weather, it was that or the sting of threatening tears.

I didn't really want to go hunting anyway. I wanted to learn from him.

Edward….Edward Cullen.

My father.

Dad.

Pa..

Pappy…

What would I call him?

I pushed myself from the bench and jogged over to the store windows, looking at my mother looking at the manager of the store.

I outlined their frames and sighed against the cold paned glass. My breath leaving the foggy stain.

"What up Swan?" I heard his voice and I shivered. I turned to stare at Joshua Cane, the whole meaning of my existence the whole reason god invented drool.

The butter to my muffin.

The milk to my cookies.

Yup…he was hot.

"H…h…." great he finally talks to me and I stuttered like a idiot.

"Never seen you in town before." He chuckled. "I've seen more vampires in sunlight."

I laughed nervously at his too close for comfort joke. "I uh….job." I squeaked pointing to my mom in the store.

He bent his head down to look through the window. His black hair spiky and his stature leaning over me, I looked up at his tan features and wished to reach out for it.

"Never seen your mom before either."

"Why are you here?" I muttered.

"I'm here because my mom owns this store."

Great…

"Cool." I sighed. _Father my children. _My mind screamed.

"So can I buy you some lunch or something?" He smiled at me.

"Yes." I finally spat out after screaming mentally.

I sat in the corner of the café just across the street from the store my mother was trying to get employed in.

"So…how's your morning so far?" He whispered low over his coffee.

"It's umm…Better, now.." I smiled.

He laughed sweetly and sipped his coffee again. "You know I'm sixteen and yet this coffee doesn't make me feel any older." He sat the cup on the table. "It makes me feel sick."

"I used to think it'd make me cool." I admitted. "I used to pretend I was a down on my luck detective with a cup of coffee and a trench coat." I slapped myself mentally for admitting this.

"Ha." He laughed softly. "Want to take a walk in the park?" he touched my hand.

My joy was short lived.

I was drowning again.

~*~

"_Josh get off me!" The small blonde girl hit his chest. _

_Josh lowered himself to the girl's body once more thrusting deeper inside her._

"_I said stop!" She screamed as tears streaked her face. _

_Josh propped himself up from her and suddenly a different girl took the blondes place. Each movement was followed by a different crying girl no older than he. _

_Josh lifted himself from the bed finally and laying in the bed was me…_

_~*~_

I screamed jumping back from him looking at him.

"What?" He asked looking alarmed.

I shook my head. That wasn't just the past. It was a crime, and not just a crime it looked like the future too.

I ran from the café and into the street. I ran directly into the arms of my mother.

"What's wrong?" She looked frantic.

I was in my room huddled into the corner of my bed. I rocked back and fourth thinking about my day. I placed my head between my knees trying to catch my chilled breath.

"Jamie?" Her whisper was low. I saw her worry in her eyes.

"Mom?" I croaked,

She walked forward, her arms open for me. I jumped into them quickly, feelings for a safe place. She doesn't know what happened in the café and I wasn't going to tell her.

"I love you." I whispered into her brown hair.

"I love you too honey." She kissed my ear before smoothing my hair down.

I wasn't insane…that's all I wanted to know, and I doubt my mother has ever ran into a case such as this.

I grew quiet my father would know, he had been around a hell of a lot longer.

My mother pulled away from the hug and turned her back to me, "Jamie, I'm going to take a shower." My mother turn and smiled at me. "Stay out of trouble eh?"

With that she was gone.

I closed my eyes looking around the room, I heard the shower start marking my cue.

I jumped from my bed and ran in search for the boxes my mother re-hid. I turned into her room and dug into her closet some, I found them and laughed with glee. My mother was so predictable. I reached in and pulled out a small picture box, I smiled as I noticed several people in one picture. Lined up along school steps, a banner hanging behind them reading "Forks High school Fall Dance!"

I smiled and placed the box down as I studied the picture.

"Jamie." My mother held a harsh whisper.

DAMNIT!

I forgot to keep in my stealth mode.

"Mother." I said trying to act like I had not just been caught.

"What are you doing?" She growled.

"I….looking for my father in this pile of memories." I sighed dropping the photo in the pile.

"Go to your room." My mother sat down on her bed, holding a towel tightly to her chest, her hair curtaining over her face.

The most disgusting part of this scene?

I obeyed.

I was sitting in my room going over all that I had done wrong when the lights went out.

I jumped up, I was still a little afraid of the dark.

"Mom!" My voice croaked. _Okay so maybe I was _a lot _afraid of the dark. _

I ran for my bed room door but it was already open and my mother sat there with arms open waiting for me.

"Jamie its okay." She whispered in my ear. "They just…they just cut off the lights for right now…"

Anger.

I was sitting on my couch in the dead of night with a candle beside me. It's flame dancing with mockery, I hated that candle. The green wax, the pine scent, the stupid flame.

In all honesty my anger was not lying in only the candle. It laid in my mother, her stupidity in not accepting help.

I wrapped my hand in a fist and felt the growl escape me. It sounded like a lion was ripping into his dinner.

That simile pissed me off even more as it reminded me of mother, the woman who was out hunting right now.

I stood up and began pacing. There was something I had to do, I had to change something because the path we were on was destroying both of us. I turned around to the candle, and it all made me so angry. I was standing here no more then fifteen and I was rapidly loosing my heart rate. Yet in these conditions I felt so responsible for everything. I was no only angry at my mother who seemed to lost in her own pain to see mine, but I was angry at my father. His absence caused all of this, his leaving hurt my mother, his leaving made me hurt.

Suddenly the flame was mocking me. I picked up my hand and swiped it from the table. It made a soft thud on the floor as I marched over to it and stomped on it mashing the wax into the rug. I did not need light anyway, I was a monster who could see faintly in the dark. My anger was growing as I walked to the coffee table and stared at it.

I picked up my hand and slammed it down on the table. It collapsed under the heaving blow.

I laughed…a laugh that a villain laughs.

I turned my body around and charged straight to my room.

I hated everything in this place, it reminded me of everything I wasn't.

The purple walls, the plush rug, the photographs and paintings. This was all for a girl, not for a monster.

I marched over to my closet and yanked out a book bag. I dropped it at my feet and began pulling at clothes dropping them in the bag.

My mother was annoying with the secrets she didn't want to know, but little did she know, I already knew them. I was going to go to this source of her pain and end it, I would bring him home and show him the world he left behind.

If he refused to join me on the this trip to save my mother from her own destruction. I'd destroy him, I'd kill him.

I'd end his life and make him suffer what I had, the blackness of pain the darkness of betrayal.

Walked over to my bed ripping the green baby blanket from it's hiding spot. I found and brought it up to my face, I would not kill my father. I'd stay with him, stay with him and live forever with him.

I walked to the bag and dropped the blanket inside it. I stood up and ran for my mothers room, I swung open the door and marched through it pulling out the boxes. I ripped each one apart and I searched for his things.

Forks high school.

I remember that place because I passed it a thousand times. It was in Forks, where my grandparents live. Sure I could falsify the need to see my grandparents and just escape to find my father but that would cost money…a lot of it.

I yanked a sweater from the pile, a sweater clearly his. I pulled it to my nose and inhaled in the foreign scent.

_Dad _

I pulled the sweater to the side as I grabbed many things, I stood quickly and walked back to my room with my new items. I stopped short out side my mothers dark room. I looked around the darken home and busted it open.

I scanned the photos as hard as I could with my weak night vision and found the one I wanted.

Back in my room I was packing quickly. I placed his sweater over my torso. I flew up to my jean covered knees. I tied my hair back and placed the photos of my father and the one photo of my mother I had taken from her black room and placed it in the smallest backpack pocket.

I place the bag on my shoulder and thought about the food I'd eat on the trip. I would have to live off animals. This thought brought me back to the reminder of what I was, I hoped I didn't change during this trip.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

I turned and left my room.

**BPOV**

I sat on a tree stump looking up at the night sky. I was preparing myself for this conversation I was about to have with my daughter.

I looked around the area and saw the body of the dead deer, it's wide open eyes still studying me.

I turned and looked at the deer.

"You don't know what I have been through." I whispered at it. "So don't look at me like that."

I turned my head back up at the night sky. I looked back down at the deer, "I have to tell my daughter about her father tonight. She'll hate both of us if she knows the entire truth. How do you tell your daughter that her father didn't want her?"

The deer stared at me with no response.

I stood and slowly crept over to it. I dropped to my knees and used my cold pale fingers to close it's eyelids.

"I'm sorry." I whispered looking at it's brown fur. "I hope you weren't a mother."

I stood shakily and walked backed to my home. I did not run at full speed because I could not bring myself to face this music.

I had to tell Jamie about Edward. I would started from the beginning and not end until I reached the ending.

I would not chicken out.

I would not run away.

I could do this.

I entered my home a few minutes later and something felt different. Something felt…empty.

"Jamie?" I called into the dark home. I walked quickly to her room as my mother senses told me something was wrong.

"Jamie!" I screamed as I opened her bed room door. It was empty, my heart caught in my throat as I turned to the living room walking quickly I stopped and saw the broken in table. "Jamie…" I whispered as I ran towards it.

I looked down at the broken wood and something caught my eye, I turned quickly and stared at the table by the front door. I ran towards it and picked up the paper.

_Dear Mom, _

_I'm sorry, I can't play this pretend game anymore. I need to know who he is. I may not come home again, and I may just return with him. Either way I am going to go find Edward, I'm really sorry mom. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day, but I need this. I need to find him, this is a good thing all around. You don't have to worry about doing groceries for awhile and I can find my dad. I love you mom, and as I travel this long road to nowhere I want you to know you will always be in my heart. I will think about you constantly and I hope that I will see you again._

_I'll call you the minute I reach safety. Love you so much. _

_Good-bye _

_Jamie Marie Cullen _


	3. The First step

**Alright readers bare with me. I have alot of homework and well like 4 hours to do it in. But i finally am getting some days off and getting time to write. I have my other story's chapter being fixed as we speak. Well anyway, I am writing the fourth chapter in my notebook during my Physics class so we are good :D Now this chapter is kinda offish with Bella and Edward, but trust me the next chapter is major Bellward  
****Thanks to my awesome beta: Miss Cullen -I wish-**

**_"Yea, I can only image what you're going through ladies,  
Sometimes I feel like running away myself,  
So do me a favor right now and close your eyes,  
And picture us running away together,  
when we come back everything is gonna be okay,  
Open your eyes......."  
"Runaway Love" By-Ludacris and Mary J blige _**

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

**_The first step_**

I barely remember the moments of my past. Lately it seems the moments I remember are no longer mine.

I pushed the snow with my feet as I waited on a street corner. To a far away by stander I looked like a child waiting for the stop light to change. Yet to me I knew that I was just pondering my next course of action.

I never believed stereo types, especially ones about teenagers. I could almost hear my grandmother ranting about how teenagers never think things through. Sadly now I agree with her. I was in Pennsylvania miles away from Forks, Washington. I don't even know if my father was still there, I wanted to turn around and run back to my mother but I knew things would have already shifted into the bad.

I kicked out my left foot and stepped on the street, thoughts whizzing in my head as the street was slick with the falling snow that melted into droplets once they caressed the road. The streetlights and stoplights cast shadows of lights reminding me for Christmas day. I pushed my feet onward as I crossed the street, I haven't made it far but it was far enough for the reality of being a run away to sink in. Would my mother put out a missing person report?

I turned my head looking down the darkness of roads I have just journeyed from. I had bigger fears, although many runaways fear rapists and thieves I feared hunger and sunlight.

I pulled the green hood on my father's sweatshirt over my hair. As I walked through the sidewalks I felt the bitterness of the wind cutting through the fabric of my sweatshirt. At first I thought it was the ferocity of the wind that fought my breathing, but then again I knew better.

_~*~_

"_Isabella.." His voice was like smooth milk. _

"_Edward…just leave me alone." Bella turned around hugging onto a familiar green sweatshirt that hung over her lanky frame like a small child in her fathers sweater. _

"_Isabella I'm not going to leave you alone. Not here, let me take you home…" He stopped closing his eyes and opening them. "Please." His voice cracked. _

"_What are you?" She whispered looking down at her torn converse. _

"_It's complicated." _

"_Make it uncomplicated." She whispered._

_The wind hollowed through the branches of the trees making them moan a sad song. _

"_I don't want to hurt you." Edward took a step forward crunching a few branches under his black boots._

"_Too late for that…" Bella whimpered shivering in the wind. Her left hand hung limply down at her side, the blood dripped of f her finger. Painting the brown leaves with drops of red._

_Edward threw his head back taking in a deep breath his whole body shivering with the undying thirst. "Let me take you home. It's not safe here." _

"_It's not safe with you." She muttered to herself. _

_Edward ran his hands through his hair. "Isabella I love you." _

_She froze bringing her right arm to cup the injured left one. "I…I…I don't know what you are." Bella turned shakily to face him. Her eyes lit with betrayal and accusation, her cheeks stained with the tears of fear and anger. Her pale face painted pink with pain and flattery. Part of her wanted to run into his arms and claim that she loved him too. "I wish…" She choked on brewing tears. "I wish I could go back to three days ago. When it was normal, when you were the captain of the baseball team and I was at the game cheering you on. I wish that I could just be your girlfriend and go to the dances with you and sit at your lunch table with your family. But now…" _

"_You want something normal." Edward's face scrunched up in pain. "But I am not normal Isabella, you want the American stereo type of the high school dating. I will never fit that mold." Edward turned his eyes away from hers. _

"_I want you." Isabella looked down at her left arm. "But I don't know what that is." _

"_That?" _

"_You." She muttered. _

"_I don't think this will work…" Edward looked down at his dark jeans. He heard the sounds of thumping stereo back at the house. The cheering of teenagers and chanting of "We will Rock You." echoed the small patch of trees. _

"_You should of told me that before you kissed me.." Bella muttered. "Before you almost tried to kill me." _

"_I am so sorry." Edward muttered walking closer to her. She froze in fear as his hands caressed her face, the stone skin chilled the soft flesh of her face. _

"_Edward…"_

"_Isabella I think it's best if you ask Jacob for a ride home." Edward quickly backed away. _

_Bella felt bewildered as straightened her body. Her face twisted into anger as she took a deep breath. "Fine." She pulled at the green sweatshirt pulling it away from her lanky frame. _

_Edward turned his head slowly closing his eyes. _

_She threw the sweater at his chest, standing in a small yellow tank top. Her brown hair covered her shoulders and her left arm held trails of blood. She pushed passed Edward and walked towards the chanting. _

_~*~_

"Miss?" I shook my head back and fourth and looked at the stranger who stood in front of me.

"Uh?" I looked at the man who carried a brief case, he looked as if he was on his way home after a hard days work.

"Is your arm alright?" He stared at my left arm.

My eyes traveled with his as I stared down at the pooling blood on the green fabric. Panic shot threw me as I ran passed him down the street and ducked into a darken corner. I pulled frantically at the sleeve to examine the cut on my arm.

Yet I stared down at the perfect pale skin. It held no gashes or scrapes, not even a bump. I pulled down the sweatshirt sleeve and stared at the now clean sleeve.

"What the hell?" I whispered moving my left arm around to make sure I was perfectly okay.

I took a deep breath and moved out of the darkness back onto the street. The wind pushed me forward as I walked quickly hugging my arms. I wasn't sure what direction I was going or if I was going the right way. But I need distance from my home, distance from my mother. I paused at an alley as I watched a bright flame dance in the distance, a few shadows covering the flame.

I took a deep breath and walked speedily towards the burning warmth.

"You're to young to be out on the streets." A man's gruff voice filled my ears.

A woman stepped in front of the flame, her burning red eyes unlike anything I've ever seen. Her pale blonde hair falling in front of her pale face. The black hooded cloth that hung on her body shadowed me.

"Get out of here." She hissed.

"I'm cold." I snapped.

"Move it."

"Let her come in." A man snickered. "I'm hungry anyway."

"Uh?" I muttered looking at the fire. I saw the faint outlining of a pale hand burning in the fire. I covered my mouth with my hand and turned to run.

"Not so fast." Two death gripped hands grabbed me.

"Her heart beat is already slow." The blonde girl turned around. "Let's leave her. If she's dying she won't taste good."

"Let me go!" I screamed flexing my arms trying to break free.

"She strong." The guy grunted letting me fall to the floor. I scampered up only to be grabbed by the blonde.

She grabbed my sweatshirt and pushed it to her nose.

I saw a slam of images. I saw my father facing off with this blonde girl, I saw my mother staring at them from a distance. I saw the blonde girl biting a human.

The girl pushed me into a trashcan. The metal vibrated behind me. "Cullen." She growled.

I groaned in pain as she pulled me up by my collar. "Far from home aren't you?" She hissed.

I struggled my feet barely touching the floor.

"Wait." The male's voice was harsh. "Some one's coming."

My feet hit the floor as the blonde girl came closer to me, her eyes burning with intensity. "You are lucky this time around."

With that they were gone.

I turned wildly unsure of what had just happened. I pulled my hand to cover my mouth as I turned to study the body in the flames. I wanted to gag but my body was having a hard time understanding how to do so.

"Hello?" The voice was soft.

I turned wildly fearing the blonde had come back and ducked behind a near by trashcan.

The pair of footsteps grew nearer.

I could hear their breathing and footsteps. Then silence, I saw the flash of light scan where I had once stood.

"She's still here." The voice was low.

"How do you know?" The girl's voice was light and airy almost like a fairy.

"I didn't see her leave." The voice was gruff. "Go back to the group." The light shut off.

I pressed myself deeper into the wall.

"But.."

"Go." The voice softened. "I'll be back soon."

I heard the footsteps fade away. I prayed that he too would leave.

"I won't hurt you." the growl escaped his throat.

I saw his boots under the crack of the trashcan. His feet lifted as he came closer. I grabbed my backpack tighter and braced myself. His shadowed frame came into view seconds before I leapt out and pushed him back with my shoulder. He grunted and I heard him fall on the ground.

I ran like hell through the alley biting back the screaming as I hit the curve of the street. The snow made it hard to run without slipping.

I heard the pounding of the footsteps behind me, I dove through parked cars I looked frantically over my shoulder. I pulled the hoodie away from my head as I ran into a small street. My breath was shallow and my heart was pounding as hard as the little weak organ could.

I was doing great until I slipped.

"Fuck my mother's genes." I growled I pushed myself up only to slip on the ice once more.

"What the hell is your problem?" The growl was from behind me.

I closed my eyes as I pushed myself on my side. If I was going to get attacked I wanted to memorize his face. I looked up at the man but something was off.

He stood above me with crossed arms, his stature was tall and muscle bound. His arms crossed over his chest as his dark caramel skin tone held little contrast on his dark black hair. His jeans jacket was somewhat torn but nearly not strong enough against the cold winds. His dark jeans were caked with mud as his fierce grey eyes stared down at me.

He looked more annoyed than murderous.

"What the hell is yours?" I snapped back.

He blinked for a second then shook his head. "I wanted to help you."

"Oh yea because every man chases a girl out of an alley because he wants to help." I snapped as I tried to stand once more.

His hands came around my waist pulling me onto my feet. I hissed at his burning skin, as I pushed his hands away.

"I…"

"Oh my god are you okay?" The red head appeared from behind the boy.

"I'm fine." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Not you." She whispered looking up at the guy.

"I'm fine Victoria." He nodded. He looked back at me with sudden anger. "Follow me."

"No." I snorted. "Do I look stupid? I saw those stranger danger tapes in kindergarten."

"Do you want to stay out here and freeze to death or maybe even worse?" He snapped looking down at me from his towering height.

I always felt so short being at least 5'3 but this guy's 5'9 made me feel like an infant.

"I can take care of myself." I growled. I was not appreciating his tone.

"Let's leave her then." The red head shrugged. I looked at her stringy dirty red hair, and holey jeans and snow boots. Her thin white sweater hugged her dirty green shirt tightly. Her developed chest and long legs showed me she was at least sixteen.

The boy looked at me for second I saw the willingness to leave, it disappeared as soon as it came.

"No." He spoke in a low tone. "Come with us." He struggled for a minute then spoke again. "We could at least get you a hot meal."

I closed my eyes and reopened them. I hated what I was about to say but I knew I needed to eat and maybe find out the direction I wished to go.

"Okay."

XxX

"Here." He pushed the brown shabby curtain to the side letting us enter a narrow pathway.

"Wow you guys really know how to hide." I whispered smelling the rancid smell of animal pee and trash.

"It's the way Kaleb likes it." Victoria muttered from behind me.

"Who is Kaleb?" I asked stopping in front of another dark alley way.

"Me." The guy muttered pushing past me and leading the way through the small alley and turning left knocking on a small red door.

The door opened a crack as a small dim light came out of the crevice.

"Guys! Kaleb is back!" The small voice cheered as they opened the door wider.

I was guided inside and took a subtle gasp. There stood many kids my age few younger and few older. They all laid across boxes and makeshifts beds. A small pregnant girl stood over a hotplate stirring something in a pot.

Victoria pushed passed me and skipped over to the pregnant girl. Her long black hair was knotted and pinned up, her red dress was long and thicker then anyone else's clothes.

I turned around to look at Kaleb as he kneeled next to one of the younger kids. I felt a pang in my heart, were all these kids runaways? Left out on the street uncared for and unwanted?

Kaleb turned his face towards mine and his hard eyes softened a bit as the little boy grabbed his finger.

He was attractive, his whole image confused me. He was the strongest of these teens, his face was one of a angel, it was soft yet harsh. His eyes were pooled with tainted innocence, he could make it in the world. He looked old enough. I didn't understand why he was one of these kids.

I took a sharp breath as a hand landed on my arm.

"I'm Twilight." The pregnant girl looked at me.

"I'm Jamie…" I whispered looking down at her belly.

"I know…" Twilight rubbed her stomach softly. Her tan skin began to glow with sadness. "It's not safe for me to not be in a home."

"Yea…" I nodded.

"Why are you not in one?" She asked softly.

I suddenly felt like an ass. I ran away to find my father, I had complained for so long about not having a father I didn't realize I had a mother, a home, a warm bed and a meal. These kids probably ran away because they didn't have any of that. Now they live in a basement of an abandon building barely getting by.

"I'm not sure." I whispered.

Twilight smiled gently. She grabbed my hands and pressed it against her belly. "The baby's kicking."

~*~

_Twilight sat on a red couch staring at her mother who stood in front of her crying. _

"_How could you?" Her mother snapped at her daughter. _

_Twilight turned her head to watch the men in the cop uniform handcuff her step-father. They began to escort him from small apartment. _

_Twilight looked back down at the pregnancy test in her hand. The burning pink cross sign on it's screen. Her mother's voice in the background. "First your father leaves because of you, now you chase another man away from me." _

_Twilight looked at her mother just as her mother's hand smacked across Twilight's face. _

_Her mother staggered into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her. _

_Twilight curled up against the back of the couch. "You're father will never hurt you." Twilight whispered. "He's locked away for ever." She whispered to her stomach. _

_~*~_

"Jamie?" Twilight put her hand on my shoulder to shake me gently.

"Oh….uh…I'm sorry." I lifted my hand from her stomach.

"Victoria tells me you're not staying?" Twilight frowned. "It's dangerous for a girl to be out there."

"I noticed." I whispered. I was still in shock at the horrifying memory that wasn't mine. I looked around the room and felt panic. I couldn't touch anyone, I could not bare any more flashbacks.

"Are you hungry?" Kaleb asked gruffly from behind me.

"Uh…yea…" I whispered. Kaleb pushed me slightly as he walked toward the hotplate.

"You'll have to excuse Kaleb." Twilight whispered. I stared at Kaleb as he poured soup into a plastic cup. "He takes awhile to warm up too, he's kind of like a dad around here."

"Okay." I muttered as I watched the children get in line for food.

Kaleb handed a cup to the smallest child first.

He stared up at me and handed me a cup. Our eyes met for a second before I took the cup out of his grasp. "Thank you" I whispered.

I watched as everyone got servings. Twilight struggled to sit down while she held onto her belly, she sighed in satisfaction and reached for the cup Kaleb held out to her. I looked down at the soup in my cup as Kaleb poured the last of the soup into a cup. He handed the second cup to Twilight, they said nothing as she took his portion of the soup.

I felt so horrible I had to leave.

"I'll be right back." I whispered leaving quickly.

I stood outside the door taking in a deep breath and walked across the small path to an opposing wall. I sank down to my knees and placed the cup of soup down.

I felt like crap.

I had a feeling my father would have known what to do in this situation.

I don't know how long I was outside, but I take it was a few hours when Kaleb opened the door revealing the darkness of the basement. A few snores escaped the room but not much else did.

He stood in the doorway looking down at me with a frown. "I understand you may not like the conditions we are in but you do not need to be rude."

I was confused at first but then I understood. He must of taken offense to when I stepped out.

"How do you deal with it?" I asked absentmindedly. "All their stories must be heart breaking."

"They are." Kaleb stepped towards me. He kneeled next to me as heat radiated off his body.

I picked up the cup of untouched soup and handed it to him. He stared at it for a second before taking it from my hands. He brought it to his lips staring at me intently.

"What's yours?" He whispered as he placed the cup down.

"I want to find my father."

"That sounds good." Kaleb spoke quietly. "But it's dangerous for you to travel."

"I know I know!" I snapped.

A small smile played on his lips. "I just don't want anything to happen to you. There are worst things out there then rapist and thieves."

I looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I just want to find my dad."

"That's pretty fair." Kaleb leaned back against the stone wall.

The door opened revealing Victoria. "Kaleb, come to bed." She looked at me with suspicion.

"I will." Kaleb nodded her obviously dismissing her. She let out a huff and turned leaving the door open.

"Oh married life at such a young age must be fun." I turned to look at him with humor.

"I'm not married." Kaleb whispered leaning his head back. He closed his eyes with a yawn and looked at me. "Are you tired?"

"No." I whispered.

"Okay." He nodded.

The sun streamed in lightly through the snow filled clouds. My body rumbled with the snores of Kaleb, his head laid on top of my shoulder causing us both to slump a bit. I would have pushed him off but his heat kept close to him.

The door opened wider when Twilight stood in the doorway standing there with a small smile on her face.

"He works his charm with every girl." She giggled causing me to smile.

"Help me?" I whispered.

Twilight stepped closer to me helping me push Kaleb off lightly.

"Did you know you skin glows in the sun a little bit?" Twilight smiled at me.

"..Uh yea…" I pushed Kaleb off with a super human force causing his head to slam back into the wall.

"Ow what the fuck?!" Kaleb grabbed his head.

Twilight turned to look at me with fear, which soon melted into laughter.

"Oh honey!" Victoria shot out from the basement door hovering over Kaleb rubbing his head. He leaned his head into her bust causing a stir of jealously in my stomach.

Twilight grabbed my arm and let out a small smile. "Do you want to accompany me on a walk?" Twilight rubbed her stomach.

"Okay." I muttered. I knew that when I got back I would have to leave to continue onto the destination.

Twilight held my arm as we exited onto a street.

"What's the story with them?" I spat out without thinking.

Twilight giggled. "It's funny almost every girl who joins the group asks that."

"Well…"

"It's normal, a lot of people believe that Kaleb and I have something going on." Twilight paused for a moment and sighed. "But Kaleb is to young for me. I'm about 18, and got way to much baggage for a man right now." She rubbed her stomach. "Kaleb is 16 and he is a great boy, takes charge of the whole clan. He and Victoria aren't as close as you think though. Victoria's a little messed up about sex and relationships, she set her sights on Kaleb the minute she arrived. Something about him being in power, or whatever." Twilight held onto my hand as we ducked into another alley.

"Are they in love?" I asked curiously.

"Oh heavens no. Kaleb doesn't feel much for her, I'm sure he cares for her like a friend but his feelings stop along there. Sure when he gets lonely he becomes affectionate with her but other then that they just fool around a lot." Twilight shrugged, "I've told them not too. I'm proof about what sex brings." she gestured to her large stomach.

"He has sex with her?" I stumbled on my words. I would definitely have to be careful around these two…I don't want flash backs about them having sex.

"What's in the backpack?" Twilight whispered as they wove through the alley.

"Pictures of my dad and some stuff like that." I whispered hugging on his sweater.

"Oh that's cute." Twilight whispered as she lifted a trashcan lid.

"What are we doing?" I ask with curiosity.

"Getting lunch." She smiled. She stood on her tiptoes reaching into the garbage can.

"Whoa baby mama let me do that." I grabbed her shoulder gently before diving into the dumpster.

"Thank you." Twilight whispered leaning against the opposing wall. "So do you like him?"

"What?" I stuttered as I pulled out some food waste showing them to Twilight who nodded in approval.

"Do you like Kaleb?" She whispered.

"No, of course not he's a whole year older then me and so much more experienced." I shrugged "Besides I'm on a travel mission not a lover's mission."

"Okay honey what ever you say." Twilight nodded in surrender before standing up. "Let's hit the next bin."

"Something's not right." I stopped in front of the door to the basement.

"What do you mean?" Twilight held the large box of food scraps.

"Stay here." I told her as she set down the box.

I pushed the door open with a quick motion. "Oh my god." Twilight screamed putting her hand to her mouth. I heard the sounds of her gagging ringing in my ears as I smelled the human blood. I looked around the room with strayed bodies all over the place.

"Kaleb." I saw him instantly huddle in a corner naked of clothing. I ran over to him laying my hands on his warm skin. I bent over him in the dim musty room my brown hair falling around our faces like veils.

He let out a low moan then a small cough. "I tried to protect them." He let out a low wheeze.

"Kaleb.."

"Go check on Victoria." He muttered.

"Kaleb.."

"Go…" He added this time a little harsher.

I stood up walking over limb bodies in search for the specific one. I saw her dirty red hair and her I heard her shallow breathing.

It was a bitchy thing for me to say but I was kind of sad she was still alive.

"Victoria?" I whispered.

Her body shook in response. I grabbed her shoulder gently and suddenly wished I hadn't.

~*~

"_Victoria!" Kaleb grabbed her out of the way as the fangs snapped at her. _

"_Boys lets clean this place out!" The blonde girl moved from the center of the room as the men around her began to feed. She picked up the smallest child and opened her mouth wide._

_~*~ _

I was screaming. I was screaming loud as I pulled myself from where ever I was. My body's fleet symptom reacted quickly as I ran out of the basement and into the alley way. I was breathing hard as the look of the little boys face hit my memory.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered softly.

* * *

**_Thanks for reading you guys. I love it. I'm going to fight to update sooner don't worry!_**


	4. Found

When I was five I used to hold my hand over the flames of my stove. I remember my mother grabbing me fiercely from the flame, she scolded me.

I was so young so I didn't understand why when she grabbed the heated stove she never winced or cried. I remember grabbing her hand and kissing her imaginary booboos. The stove never hurt her but my reaction did. She turned her head away from me and through her curtain of hair I saw her eyes close.

I turned away from Kaleb as he pulled on a pair of dead boy's jeans. He cleared his throat as Victoria cried not so silently.

I felt my legs pull me farther away from the scene. I collapsed a few feet away and curled into a small ball, I felt so empty. I thought I was the scariest thing out here but I was proven wrong. I was not on the scale of fright. These vampires were scarier then me, stronger…heartless.

Would that become me when I change?

Would I turn evil and vicious? Could it be my mother was a lucky one, a domesticated one? What if my father was the same beast as these creatures I had run from?

I felt a warm hand danced across my arm. "Jamie." He whispered.

"How.." I closed my eyes and felt the sentence hang in the dirty air.

"I'm sorry you had to see all of that." Kaleb pulled me up to face him. His sharp cheek bones offered the warmth his eyes did not provide.

"Are you okay?" I whispered looking at his lips.

"I am fine." Kaleb whispered.

"We have to move!" Victoria shouted from behind Kaleb's stature. "We can't stay here what if they come back!" Victoria started to wail.

"Kaleb." Twilight called. I looked over his shoulder to see a struggling pregnant woman hold down the younger girl.

Kaleb stood leaving me alone. With him he took all his warmth, I let out a small sigh as I laid back onto the floor.

I did not understand anything. Why was I not blood crazy? I was still too human to be a savage? Did I still have my humanity?

The shadow appeared over me. "Jamie?" Twilight whispered.

I turned over to see the raven haired woman. She frowned as she stood in front of the mid-sky sun.

"Is she finally up?" Victoria's nasal voice crashed through my fog.

"We have to start moving." Kaleb barked.

"Shut up." Twilight snapped.

"What?" I whispered my throat feeling raw.

"You passed out." Twilight kneeled awkwardly.

I placed a hand on her knee to pause her and pushed myself up to see a shaking Victoria in Kaleb's arms.

"Of course." I whispered. "I am headed…" I looked down at my feet.

"Well we are relocating." Kaleb sighed.

Suddenly I felt fear, fear to be alone on this road trip to my father. "Come with me." I chirped.

Victoria scoffed and Twilight held onto her stomach.

"Where are you going?" Kaleb asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Forks?" I whispered.

"Is that a question?" Kaleb turned his face down.

"No!" I snapped. "I'm going to Forks."

"Why would I go with you?" Kaleb sighed.

I felt the anger surge through me, it burned at my tips of the fingers to the twitch in my toes. "I just thought that if we stuck together we'd at least know for sure we wouldn't die. But fine you'd rather spilt up?" I growled. "Bye."

"Jamie." Twilight grabbed my arm. "We'll go with you."

_His face was inches from mine. The rain drizzled closely behind it, it's drops playing a song which only would be held beautiful by a piano. _

_His hand covered the running blood from my lip as if I was the only thing wrong with me._

"_Bella?" Jacob's voice dropped into a low tone. _

"_Jacob?" My heart twisted with new found pain. _

"_I wouldn't leave you." Jacob's hand turned to my cheek. "I am not him." _

_My lungs caught as the rain harden. My lip dripped with blood, it's smell covered by the mud and leaves around us. My fingers clenched around the mud, my hair dripped slowly it's drops making the only noise between us. _

_Jacob placed his left hand over my shoulder against the boulder I leaned against in the this cold forest where it all happened. _

_His right hand opened showing the drops of my blood mixing with the rain in his hand. He shook his head and looked over his shoulder. His car was still running, the head lights still on. His movement unblocked the blinding light from my eyes and it caused me to squint. _

"_They're gone now." He whispered moving back into the light. It traced around him like he was an angel, the sight was one to behold._

_But then again, I remember saying that about another man. _

_Jacob looked at my bleed lips and bruised skin and caressed me once more. I flinched away, not from the pain of his touch, but from the pain of the memories. _

"_I am not him Bella. I do not fear your blood fall, it doesn't bother me. I am human Bella. Though I have a few alterations." He smiled trying to pull a smile on my face. _

_Nothing._

"_Bella I am not cold, I do not fear intimacy, and I can give you anything you wish for." Jacob pulled his arms around me. _

_My head rested on his warm shoulder, the light no longer blocked from my eyes. I squinted again with a giggle, it seemed like a metaphor to me. _

_My wet clothes clung to my skin and I felt a whole new kind of emotion. _

_Love. _

_I closed my eyes digging my face into his neck. _

_Werewolf. Shape shifter. _

_What ever he may be he was beautiful. _

_Behind my eyelids the light seemed to darken. I looked up to see the intruding figure and my heart spun with desire. _

"_Bella?" Edward whimpered. His figure darkened by lighting, his clothes too dry for the weather. He must of ran here. _

_To fast for rain. _

_That is how he is, my Edward. _

_Jacob's hug released and he stood. His back to me I watched the rivers of water pool down his bare back. Every muscle clenched and released, Edward's eyes did not entertain him. His eyes watched me as I slid back against the boulder. My shoulders hung low in defeat to this battle. _

_I was emotionally tired of fighting to find the love that was taken from me the moment I arrived in Forks. _

"_Go away." Jacob growled. _

"_Jacob, it'd be best if you left." Edward whispered._

"_You left her! Left her vulnerable to this life you led her into!" _

_Edward's eyes hardened as mental images must have danced through his mind. Jacob growled feeling his blood pressure boil. He fell to his knees, his hands pushing in the soil underneath him. _

_I turned my face away from the howls and hisses. The sound of glass breaking. All it mirrored was the pain in my heart. _

_It was a never ending Ferris Wheel of pain. It ripped my heart into all these little pieces each one falling to the ground with more noise then the last. _

_Then I did the one thing that reminded me why I didn't belong in this world._

_In his world. _

_I cried. The most humane act I could of done. The cry ripped from my heart with such fierceness it left my throat sore. My muscles pulsed with the pain that was left rotting my body since I met Edward._

_The was the last thing I remember that night.._

_When I awoke the next morning in my bed covered in bandages with Alice sitting next to me I knew a lot must of happened._

_It was when she placed her hand on my leg and smiled that I knew something was wrong. _

"_Alice?" my voice was scratchy. _

"_How are you feeling?" Her voice was kind. _

"_I've been better." I bit my lip ignoring the pain. _

"_She's lying." Rosalie came in holding a small bag._

"_Rose?" I sat up. "Is everyone here?" _

"_No." Alice shook her head and took my hand in hers. _

_Rosalie sat on the chair across the room and held the small bag to her chest. Her eyes portrayed the betrayal that must have been in my eyes. _

_They all left me. _

"_Bella…" Rosalie pulled out a small brown pouch from the plastic bag. _

"_We got you a gift." Alice nodded vigorously. _

"_It's a gem." Rosalie handed me the pouch as if I was a lowly child._

_It was a gorgeous ring, it's sliver band shone proudly as it held up the darkest stone I've seen. _

"_It's Obsidian, a protection stone." Alice smiled._

_My eyes looked down at the dark stone, it looked almost dark and bleak. Protection…._

_The gem looked depressed._

"_Thank you." I whispered placing the ring on the nightstand. _

_Rosalie growled. "You don't like it?" _

"_I love it." I lied. _

_Her body shook with irritation. "Lovely, we spent money on you just so it can be a coffee table decoration."_

"_Rose." Alice snapped. _

"_What ever." Rosalie walked out of my room slamming the door behind her. _

_I let out a sigh turning away from Alice. _

_After a few minutes I heard the door open and close once more. I knew then I was alone. _

_I crouched low on floor, my ear pressed against the wooden door. My finger's raw against it's cold surface. _

"_We were better off gone." Rosalie growled. _

"_Rose…" Esme warned. _

_I heard a chair scrape the floor and a low growl take place. _

"_She needs us." Alice whispered. "We can't leave."_

"_We will stay until we can get her settled." Esme nodded. _

_My hands gripped the door knob as I opened the door slowly. They froze in any more conversation. _

_My bare feet pushed down on the carpet as I walked down the stairs. _

"_Bella?" Esme stood. "Do you need any thing?"_

_I stared at the three woman in my living room and felt the bile raise in my throat. _

"_Oh she's going too…"_

_Before I knew what was happening I was flying, then standing over a toilet letting out all the previously unshed tears into the bowl. _

_Rosalie stood over my with disgust etched into her face. _

_Alice kneeled next to me gliding her cold fingers over my forehead. The chill felt good against my sweating skin. _

"_She's got a fever." Alice whispered to Rosalie who just turned from the room. _

_Rosalie's body disappeared from the room._

_I was wrapped in blankets and covered with body rubs within the hour. I could hear each body moving through the house. _

_The sound of his voice, the sound of Esme hushing his worries. Carlisle's groans of worries and Alice's butterfly giggles. _

_I pushed myself from the bed stripping from the layers of blankets. I pushed play on my radio as an unimportant song filled the room. _

_I opened the window letting the cold wind grab at my thin pajama pants and shirt. I pushed myself through the window climbing on the roof slowly, my feet scrapping against the hard roof. I felt my skin tear as I found the most stable place available I lowered myself steadily on the roof. _

_My tears fell sweetly, rolling down my cheeks._

"_Bella?" Edward's voice was smooth as he crawl onto the roof._

"_Go away." I whispered as he moved gently towards me._

_I made a move to scoot away but I almost slipped causing him to panic. "Bella don't move. Please." _

"_You left me." _

"_I know and I'm sorry Isabella, I thought I was doing the right thing." _

"_How could you expect that to be the right thing. You said you loved me." _

"_I do!" _

"_You left!" _

"_Bella it's hard to explain." _

"_Right, because I'm the lowly human girl who understands nothing?" I scoffed. "You're right Edward, I am human. That means I bleed when I am cut, I cry when I am sad and I break when my heart does." _

"_I'm sorry." Edward whispered suddenly next to me hugging me close. _

"_I'm hurting in a way you won't understand because I am human, and you aren't." _

My throat swelled with air as I nearly gagged. I turned on my side dry heaving.

Twilight stood back holding her stomach looking back and forth in fear. Kaleb fell to his knees besides me shaking my arm wildly. "Jamie?"

I heard my mother's voice, the whole flashback told by my mother. I felt my head spin as Kaleb pulled me up to my knees.

"What drugs are you on?" His eyes bore into mine.

"What?" I whispered.

He shook his head with a growl, "I've seen this before." Kaleb spoke grabbing Twilight's arm ready to lead her away from Jamie. "I don't deal with users."

"Kaleb!" Twilight hushed,

I a sudden shame in thinking about bringing them along. "I…" I ran my fingers through my hair before watching Kaleb and Twilight turn around.

Though they whispered I heard them perfectly.

"She is on something, I got a weird vibe from her."

"Kaleb you don't like anyone."

Before they could turn around, I was gone.

I pulled the hoodie strings tight around my face trying to place my mind elsewhere. I began walking North I was going to the bus depot. I had little money but it would take me somewhere.

As each person passed me I looked at their faces, did they know? Could they see what I was? Or did I just look like another child on the street on a cloudy day?

After a few blocks my legs became just a tad sore, hell I was still human after all.

There aspects of this journey I did not really think about. The snow that sunk around my shoes causing my feet to dampen. The loneliness of traveling alone, and the constant reminder that I was running towards something. That something I was running to could very much hate me.

"Welcome to Ohio"

I read the sign out loud and looked over my shoulder. Miles of highway covered in snow, the stars hung above my head high.

I was starving, tired, and I felt sick.

I dodged my mother twice and ran from her three times. It's hard running from a vampire, what I didn't understand is how she must of lost my scent along the way. I didn't want to think about how many other vampire scents laid in the town I've lived in since I was little.

I walked towards the cement dividers between the two roads and sat down.

I saw nothing but snow and grass. It was a warmer kind of winter over here I'm not sure why but it must have been because of the earth rotation or what not. I've never really stayed awake in class.

I hugged the now damp sweater closer to my body. I could still smell him and a hint of snow.

It wasn't to late I could turn around now and go back home, be back in school by Tuesday. I hadn't crossed the state line yet, though if I blinked maybe an eyelash would cross it, yea I was that close. There was a subtle wind almost pushing me toward the line.

"Chicken." I whispered looking at my feet.

"Yes you are." A loud booming voice came into my head. I winced turning quickly. No one.

I turned back around and came face to face with a man.

"Why hello there." He smiled showing off a pair of pearly white teeth dripping in blood.

I fell backward on my ass, I shivered with fear. As his smile widen, "Where is a small girl like you doing out here all alone?"

I began to push myself away from him, this man was evil I could sense his vibe even if I was ten million inches away.

"Don't leave." He frowned. "We are just having a conversation."

"I…uh…" I bit my lip.

"Hmmm I can smell it, a hint of animal blood and human." His eye's lit up walking closer, "Have you ever tasted human blood? It's salivating, almost heart stopping." His hand reached out for my face.

"Get away from her." the voice was calm and female.

A woman stood behind him holding her neck tightly. I could smell her dripping veins from my spot on the floor. It was sweet and invoked a killer in me.

My fingers stretched out against the hard road my nails scratching at it's thin layer of ice. I wanted to pounce, I was unsure if it was the monster in me or the lack of feeding I have done since I left home.

Her brown hair was matted with blood and her clothes were disheveled.

Her eyes were widen with sadness and fear as the man turn around with a growl.

"Some meals never stay down."

I looked at the woman as she shivered. "Run." She whispered to me as the man pounced her. The sound of her bone cracking against the road made me jump on my own feet. I readied to run when she held up her pale hands from over his shoulders. In her hands was a set of keys.

Taking the keys I ran across the state line and did not stop until her scent of blood washed from my nose.

My pace slowed as I waded through the road with achy feet. I was squeezing the keys so hard they left a small indentation in my hand.

After a few more miles of jumping at small noises and looking over my shoulder I saw tail lights. Tail lights and tail pipe smoke, I felt a surge of fear as I looked down at the keys in my hands.

The car was not moving.

I almost turned away when I heard a small cry, almost like a baby.

Then I was running, my feet moved faster then I ever felt them move before in a blink I was looking into the car. I pulled open the driver side door.

A male with dark blonde hair fell onto the road. I covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream. He was drained of every once of blood he once had.

I fell against the car holding my mouth and nose, my memory wiped of my recent temptation to taste what must have been his wife's blood. I closed my eyes trying not to see the sight of his pale torso on the road and his lower half still in his seat.

Then there was another small cry.

The fear in me stopped me from moving. I was too scared to do anything.

~*~

"_Are you ready?" Edward pulled Bella to her feet. _

"_Alice will kill you when she finds you here." Bella giggled leaning her head against his. _

"_I don't care." Edward smiled. _

_Bella placed her hand over her stomach. "Are you okay with it?" _

"_I…" Edward looked away. "I…" _

_Bella frowned pulling her hands from his. "I think you should leave now." _

"_Isabella.." Edward kneeled before her. "I just don't think it's a good idea.."_

"_Please leave." Bella held her stomach tightly._

"_Edward." Esme opened the door with a sad smile. "Please give Bella and I a moment." _

_Bella watched his retreating form. _

"_I'm scared." She whispered to Esme as the older woman sat down next to her. _

"_Fear is a state of mind."_

_Bella chuckled. "I forgot I'm human and you are not." _

"_Bella I understand your fear, it holds no relevance to immortality. You are a young girl holding a key to such a big world. There are things still hidden and factors still going unmeasured, but you need to learn that there is still time." Esme looked down at Bella's stomach with a smile. "I know there are a lot of factors about the life we have that intrigue you but making decisions like this is not easy. As a human you believe that you should follow you heart, but as a vampire, when we are to believe that we have no such organ we think with our minds. You have emotion and Edward has logic." Esme brought her lips to Bella's forehead. "You are surrounded by the world's fiercest predators, and they are on your side. There is nothing that can harm you."_

_Bella smiled._

"_So as I said before. Fear is just a state of mind." Esme hugged Bella closer. _

_~*~_

I felt a puff of air escape me as I pulled myself to my feet. I did not understand that vision but then again I doubt anyone would.

The fear in my body shook but I no longer felt the vibration of it's call. I closed my eyes and placed my hand on the handle. With a single pull I heard the click of the opening door but not much else.

I opened my eyes and looked down on a young girl holding her eyes and rocking back in fourth. She was five maybe seven.

I suddenly felt very sick, she watched her parents become food for a monster.

I stared at her small brown eyes and black hair. I opened my mouth to speak but the chill of breath on my neck made me slam the door shut.

"I see you have found my desert." The man backed me against the car.

"You're sick."

"Thank you." He growled.

My hands flew up to his chest and gave a good shove. His body flew a feet back, he rolled a little before stopping himself.

When you become so scared you forget a couple of things. My fear had immobilized me so hard that I forgot I was at least half of what he was.

I yanked the dead man from the driver's seat. Jumping in his place, I gripped the steering wheel. The whole car smelled like sweet blood. The man jumped on the hood his teeth barred. "I don't like being fooled."

I grabbed the keys and fiddled putting them in the ignition. I only drove a car once, when my mother allowed me to take the wheel as she shot some pictures out the window of the deserted road we were on.

I turned the keys and felt the engine rumble, the man closed his fist hitting the windshield causing it to crack greatly.

"Shit." I whispered slamming on the gas.

Backwards.

We were flying backwards.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit!" I lifted my foot off the pedal as the man fell off the car.

I pressed the brake and change the gear into drive.

"Mommy?" the little girl whispered. I ignored her call as I slammed on the gas, there was nothing for a second. Then there was speed. I opened my mouth with a scream as I ran down the offending vampire. I was driving off at an insane speed the headlights showing me exactly were to go.

Slowing down I felt the sting of unshed tears hit my eyes. I didn't know where I was going, I missed home, and I was terrified. I didn't know how to drive and I wasn't sure what to do with my newly acquired companion.

"What is your name?" I whispered in a friendly voice.

"Mommy said don't talk to strangers." The little girl replied snootily.

"I'm not a stranger." I chuckled. I just saved her life and she calls me a stranger.

"Yes you are!" The little girl screamed. "Stranger Danger!"

"Okay okay…" I gripped the steering wheel. "My name is Jamie, I'm about 16 and I'm on my way to find my dad."

"How did you lose a whole person?" The little girl mocked me.

"I didn't loose him, he lost me."

"You guys must be pretty stupid." She sighed.

I almost broke the steering wheel. Maybe talking was a bad idea.

"What's your name?"

"Susan."

"Hi Susan."

"Are we going to grandma's house still?" The little girl looked outside the window.

"I'm not sure." I murmured.

"You look funny." The young girl whispered touching a strand of my hair.

Then the water started filling my lungs. It was so difficult to breath I lifted my foot off the gas and rose my hands to my throat.

~*~

"_You never come to visit me." My voice filtered over the phone._

"_I know, I'm sorry mom it's just that Jenna has work and Susan has school.." the dark haired man smiled. _

"_I don't care." My voice filtered a smile. "I want to see my grandchild._

_I suddenly was in a small room painted peach. I was pacing in front of a fire place holding multiple pictures of me and a little girl. _

_I walked over to the window and saw the large food store across the street from my home, and the yellow signs reading "Oak Brooke Road" _

"_It's a shame that I never see her…" I muttered._

_~*~_

Air.

Sweet air.

Filled my lung quickly and I slumped forward trying to breathe.

"You're weird." Susan whispered.

I picked my foot up and placed it back on the gas pedal.

What triggered this vision? I didn't even know these people, why was this one so harder to enter then the others?

46 miles later we entered a small town.

"PONIES!" The little girl screamed pressing her face against the glass.

I looked up at the darken sky it was late and I need to keep her safe. I lifted my foot from the gas pedal letting the car slow. The girl yawned in the back seat causing my own mind to slow.

As I pulled the car into a small farm house drive way I scratch the side door. "Ooppss." I whispered.

I turned off the car sliding out of the front seat. I looked back at Susan and warned her to stay in the car.

The large oak door stared at me as my fist made a little sound against it.

Thankfully a small old woman answered it.

"Hello?" She looked at me then to the car.

"Hi." I looked down at my wet sneakers.

"Can I help you?" She looked at me once more. She was aware of what time it was, yet she didn't tell me to get lost.

"My sister and I…we need a place to stay, just for the night." I whispered.

The old lady let a small smile play on her lips.

I watched Susan stuff her face with the spaghetti and garlic bread. I chuckled fingering the garlic bread, what old myths people dream up.

"Are you not hungry?" The small old woman looked at me. Her long gray hair was braided in a long braid down her back. Her long night gown was covered by a yellow fluffy robe. Her feet patted across the kitchen as she handed me a few quilts. "I have one guest room but the bed is quite small. I hope you don't mind, and in the morning we will find some more gas for your vehicle and make you a basket to go.""Thank you so much." I whispered.

"You're welcome." She smiled. "Lincoln." She called at her black cat as it followed her into the back room.

"You ready to go to sleep?" I sighed.

"I can't sleep in a bed with strangers."

"You won't have to." I whispered standing up as she did.

Susan quickly fell asleep letting me free to clean the mess in the kitchen. I had not eaten in a while, my throat stung like a mad man but I refused to kill.

Killing was something that would change me indefinitely. I picked up the carton of juice and walked to the fridge. I would just have to ignore my hunger for now.

Opening the fridge the smell hit my nostrils, the scent was like sex to man, chocolate to a woman. Raw beef sat on the top shelf of her fridge. It's meat surrounded by a pool of red, my throat entered a frenzy every nerve on my body jumped alive.

I quickly shut the fridge placing the carton back on the table. I raced to the bathroom closing the door behind me.

I closed my eyes and let out a small sigh before I turned on the shower. The water dripped over my body, it did nothing but ignite every nerve further. My thirst was unquenchable, I need to be fed. I reached for the cold water nozzle, the water drew down my back. My hair soaked hanging around my face, I knew the water was like ice but I felt nothing but fire. It was a power struggle between sense and hunger, I pulled the soap over my pale skin trying to distract myself.

I had never felt so much hunger burning in my throat. I ran my hands through my brown hair feeling nothing but the burning sensation.

I never felt so pained. I never felt so alive, every nerve in my body bounced around on edge. I suddenly felt like running.

I turned off the water exiting the shower. I covered my naked body with a towel, I needed to be fed. I needed to feed.

I walked over the back door staring out at the darkness.

I stood at the barn door in my father's sweater, in my old jeans. I was barefoot not caring for clothes in the cold winter snow.

The animals sensed the wrong in the barn, they knew the predator that did not belong. Something was evil in me, something need to be fed. I ran my fingers along the barn stalls, some animals backing away some eager to a challenge.

I looked at the cow who stared back at me. Her eyes slightly opened, she was tired, she was weak, she was dinner.

I don't remember what came over me. But in a flash I was over the stall and sinking my teeth into her, the blood was bitter sweet. It didn't quench the fire but it dulled it.

Her feet struggled to keep up as her body weakened. Together we hit the floor as two lovers in a trance. There was no love between us I was the predator and she was just the pray.

Susan touched my shoulder snapping me out of the daze that held me. She shook a plate of pancakes in front of me but I shook my head. I watched as the old lady packed a small wicker basket full of food.

"Another wolf got to my cow last night." She growled. "I'm about to start putting bear traps out there." She walked over to the ringing phone.

"Jamie don't you want to eat?"

"No." I whispered standing. I grabbed my back pack and headed out the car.

My sweater and jeans were still damp from my vigorous washing, they still had the scent of cow blood. I threw my backpack in the car and sat on the hood of the car. I was right, killing something did change me.

I was not a full vampire yet, I could not expect to kill and feel nothing. I was still human, I still felt the shame and pity over myself.

"Okay girls." The old woman exited the house holding the basket. Susan skipped along behind her. "You got some food for the road."

"Thank you again." I whispered to her still not able to look her in the eye.

"Where you girls headed?" She smiled at me before looking at the cloudy sky.

"Oak Broke Road?" I shrugged. "Do you know where it is?"

"Grandma's house!" Susan jumped up and down.

"I could drive you." The elder looked at me with kindness.

I then caught on that she caught on last night that I wasn't of age to drive.

"I don't want to be a bother." I whispered.

"Grandma!" Susan ran into the woman's arms.

"Where is mommy and daddy?" The old woman looked up at me as our ride here drove off.

Pushed my hands in my pockets and stepped forward. "I'm sorry." I looked at her.

She carefully placed her granddaughter behind her "Go inside." she whispered as Susan ran off.

"There was an accident." I started.

I sat on a bench thinking about all that had happened in a single night. Here I was in a whole new state not knowing exactly where I was going or how I was ever going to get to my father. I closed my eyes and laid on the bench I didn't want to do this anymore. I felt so alone and so weak out here in a big world by myself.

"Kill me." I whispered.

"I would but then the whole journey would be kind of pointless."

I opened my eyes sitting up. I came face to face with him once more.

"How did you.."

"You know you're not that hard to track." His smile was a sly one.

"Why…"

"I need a adventure, plus Twilight used guilt on me to come and find you."

I smiled looking at him, I don't think I had ever been so happy to see a person as I was him at this moment.

His arrogant smile made me feel like smacking him.

"I don't need a baby sitter."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't"

"Just admit it Jamie, you need me"

"No I'm good on my own." I bit my lip to not smile.

"Look, I can help you find your dad and you can pay me back by giving me a decent meal." he looked at the wicker basket in my lap.

It took me a moment before handing the basket to Kaleb.

I was a good distance from home, I was in a whole other state. I had nothing but a couple of pictures, clothes, a pair of shoes, and a destination in mind that was half across the U.S.

But not one part of me felt alone anymore.

"Let's start moving short stuff, want to be at least a good distance from the town when night fall hits." Kaleb stood with the basket.

"Why?" I called after him.

"It'd be too dangerous. Now move your ass."

I growled looking at his back, but eyes couldn't help but travel lower.

"I'm not moving." I whispered.

Kaleb kept walking not bothering to look back or wait for me. Against my wishes I stood and began to run after him.

When I caught up to him he looked down at me and frowned. "Out of all this food you couldn't get a decent drink?"


	5. Path of Hate

**Alright I got alot of explaining to do. Well as we all know I am a highschool student and i just took my ACT testing and my AP test. So, now guess what? I have all the time in the world to write. Bad thing? I am deleting a story. It's not Road to Nowhere so dont panic. I acutally am shutting down Venmous lovely until i can re-route it. There is so much going on in the plot line I lost my track. But i will come back to it eventually i promise. I am planning to see this story through. So on to the story.**

"If Gods the game that you're playing  
Well we must get more aquainted  
Because it has to be so lonely to be the only one who's holy  
It's just my humble opinion but it's one that i believe in  
You don't deserve a point of view  
If the only thing you see is you"  
Playing God- Paramore

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."**

"How did you find me?" I looked at the side of his face illumined by the neon sign above us.

We sat planted in front of a drug store, the night air cooling around us.

"We have to keep moving." Was his only response.

"My feet hurt."

"Your such a girl." He stood up dusting off his pants.

"No, I'm just human."

The air was stale after that. My mouth felt as if it had said a foreign language. Human.

"Look Jamie, we need to keep moving." He knelt besides me a small pained expression painted his face. "We don't want to be in one place for too long."

I stood as he did, a few paces behind him as he stalked forward. His hands deep in his pockets, his hair in different directions painted with grease due to the avoidance of a shower.

I stopped at a curve as he stopped across the crosswalk.

"_Bella, you're being unreasonable." The large native man stood inches in front of me. His hands balled into fist._

"_Jacob," The words came from my mouth, or rather from my mother's. "You lied." _

"_You never asked." The man's jaw clenched. "Does the monster thing not do it for you anymore?" _

_~*~_Kaleb grabbed my arm in a tight grip dragging me along the road. "I said we have to keep moving."

I took a deep yawn and broke my arm from his grip. "I need to rest." My hand flew up my head, I felt lightheaded.

"Later." Kaleb picked up his steps. "We need to find shelter before I go find the girls."

"They are coming?" I whispered taking wider steps to match his.

"We are family. We don't spilt up."

"We?" I looked up at Kaleb.

"Keep moving."

I pushed the cardboard box down lower as I laid on it. I looked at Kaleb as he sat with his box against the metal dumpster. "Get some sleep." He whispered. "I'll sleep in the morning."

I nodded rolling over on to my side pretending to fall asleep. But in my mind I felt nothing but the dizzying thoughts of my mother.

How worried she must be. Running her hands through her hair repeatedly, biting her nails. I felt guilty for leaving her but my guilt washed to anger when I remembered why I left. I needed to find him, I needed to find my father.

When morning rolled into the sky I looked over at the already sleeping Kaleb. His shoulders slumped forward, his arms dangling over his knees. I pushed myself up crawling over to him placing my head on his arm.

I was scared, this journey was big and I didn't know what direction I was even heading in. I stood momentarily, pausing to look at Kaleb. I began to walk towards the large shopping outlet, my feet carried me fast as my mind just needed to see some familiar things.

Aisle 12.

The sign was large and yellow. It held the most colorful array of CD's and Movies. I slid into the aisle, my finger's touching the glass cases. When I was younger I always came with my mother to do her music shopping, she claimed she could never take a picture with out some kind of music playing.

I smiled picking up a CD and pulled it to my chest. It wasn't the artist that made me tearful, or the tracks of words on the shiny object inside. It was the memory that came attached to it. A memory that I on my own wanted to remember. A normal memory, not one of another soul's, it was mine.

I looked up at the ceiling and smiled, I wonder if my mother would ever find me on this journey. I wonder if I'd find myself along the way as well.

"Shit! Don't you ever fucking do that again." The hands grabbed my forcefully spinning me around coming face to face with a very angry Kaleb.

"Uh?" Was all I squeaked out.

"Just disappear like that, I thought something could of happened."

"I just needed…" I stopped along my lines. He would not care about my stupid feeling for familiarity.

Kaleb shook his head.

"Let me guess…." I whispered. "We got to keep moving?"

He let his eyes close before opening them again. "Yes."

I frowned at him.

The day was nothing but walking. A few stops here and there but it was filled with nothing but silence and walking.

Then the night set in, then the cold really took it's toll.

"Jesus." I whimpered rolling into a ball in the alley. I was shaking, looking up at his body illuminated by the streetlights.

"I think we can stop for now." He sat next to me his head looking up at the sky.

I shivered once more stretching my father's sweater over my knees as I began to make a small tent of warmth.

"I'm going to die of hypothermia."

"It could be worse." He whispered.

"Really how?" I growled.

"It could be raining." he smiled a crooked smile.

"Shut up." I whined.

He laughed as he put his arms around me and pulled me into him. "Body heat." He muttered.

I placed my head on his thin shirt covered chest listening to the slow beat of his heart.

"Why are you out on the streets?" I whispered.

I heard his deep breath and felt his body shiver. "My mother." He whispered.

I waited for him to continue but he fell silent, his snores echoed in the alley.

_Bella sat on the couch looking up at Jacob as he marched back and fourth. _

"_You're pregnant?" He whispered. _

"_Jacob…" She muttered looking down. Then back up at him, "I just need a friend." _

_Jacob sunk to the couch, his warmth radiating off his body. "It's going to be okay Bella." He picked her up in one swoop cradling her on his lap he rocked her back and fourth. Her tears formed puddles on his shirt, and her constant wailing left his ears ringing. But he didn't care. _

_His words were deep as his fingers combed her long brown hair. _

"_'Cuz I'm looking at you through the glass don't know how much time has passed all I know is that it feels like forever no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head." His voice sang gently into her ear. He felt his own heart breaking as his dream life faded into someone else's_

_~*~ _I rolled over, a smile on my face. I had achieved a night of sleep, I snuggled deeper into the warmth as my body curled into his.

Then something poked me.

I shuffled in the spot I was trying to shake loose the twig. My shaking helped nothing, in fact it started groan from next to me. I felt my heart stop as I glance between us and yelped jumping up and back accidentally tripping over my own feet and hitting the near by chain link fence.

"What!" Kaleb jumped up frantically searching for the source of my reaction. His eyes still heavy with sleep.

"You pervert!" I pointed at him.

He was confused until he followed my finger. It was silent as he stared at the bulge. He rolled his eyes and laid back down. "Shut up and go back to sleep."

"No!" I snapped. "Not so you can feel me up in my sleep and get off on it."

"I didn't do anything to you." He groaned sitting back up.

"Oh Mr. 'Body heat'" I held my hands up to make air quotes.

"Air quotes? Are you five?" His eyes looked disbelieving at me.

"You're, You're…."I stuttered feeling my blush raise to my cheeks.

"I'm…I'm….I'm a guy." He said mocking me.

"Get rid of it." I crossed my arms shaking in the cold.

"Trust me, if you're freaked out now, you'd be thoroughly freaked out if I got rid of it right this second." He chuckled.

My eyes widened. "You sicko!" I turned and stomped over to another small crevice between the trashcans.

"Where are you going?" He yawned.

"To my own spot where we keep it in our pants." I snapped before curling in the ball again.

I felt him kneel in front of me and pick me up as I was still curled in a ball. "Shut up and go back to sleep." he dropped me back to the makeshift bed.

He placed his arm over my shoulder before drifting back to sleep.

I laid awake scared to move in anyway.

"It's a natural every man wakes up with an erection." he must of felt my tension.

"Every morning?" I whispered.

"Sometimes." He yawned before opening his eyes.

I turned over to face him, we were desperately trying to keep warm.

"You don't ever…" I pondered the question I wanted to ask.

"No I don't masturbate, Victoria usually cures it." My eyes widened as he shrugged his shoulders.

"You guys are so young." I looked down.

"When you're out on the streets like we are. You're forced to age beyond your years." His thumb reached up wiped something off my cheek. "You are forced to take affection where you can find it." he brought his thumb back showing me my own eyelash perched on the thumb.

I closed my eyes before blowing it away.

"What did you wish for?" He smiled.

"If I told you," I rolled on my back looking at the dark clouds above. "It won't come true."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was sweeter this way, when he was to exhausted to fight and too groggy to put up his usual walls.

I rolled back over looking at his half closed eyes.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"Twelve." He whispered.

I stood silent looking at him.

He sighed. "Now shut up while I try to get some sleep."

I looked back up at the sky and I secretly hoped my wish came true.

"Jesus do you ever sleep?" Kaleb snapped as I rolled over once more. I was bored with nothing but anticipation filling my body.

"I can't sleep." I moaned.

Kaleb let out a low growl before pushing himself up. "Let's go then."

I jumped up in satisfaction of winning.

"I hate kids." He muttered.

"I'm no younger then you." I laughed.

"You're fifteen. Some of us are seventeen."

I felt my annoyance surge at his words, I was not a child. "Well get over yourself, you're the one that came chasing after me."

"Would you rather do this alone?" He looked back at me as we continued to walk in the cold morning.

My feet slid over the cement with gracefulness. I studied the homes around me, each one looking more broken then the next. I thought back to my home with my mother and how lucky I was. I thought I missed out on so much never knowing this other side of me but as I surveyed the despair and the destruction I knew I was lucky enough to actually have shelter.

"Kaleb." I whispered as he stopped short looking at a small diner at the corner of the road. He began to take long purposeful strides, leaving my short legs in the dust.

I leaned against the door of the diner annoyed but fascinated. Kaleb had come close to running here, for reasons I did not understand. I stared at him as he talked with a boy looking no older then himself. They both had a smile on their faces.

"Excuse me." One girl snapped pushing me to the side.

I moved out of the door way as about five males poured into the diner, they were all tall and muscular. They sent a lot of the older and bigger burly men scurrying away to the back of dinner. I watched as the girl who snapped at me earlier walked over to the boys on jumped into a seat next to them at the counter.

I sat down on a chair a few tables away, I enjoyed the diner's warmth until a hand grabbed my arm.

"I found us a shelter." Kaleb whispered to me.

"Where?" I looked at his eyes.

"With them." He shrugged over to the pack of steroid junkies.

"What? We barely know them." I snapped.

"Do you want some where warm to stay?" He snapped right back at me.

"There is no way in hell that I'm going to stay with them." I shook my head like a five year old refusing to eat her peas. Kaleb stared at me with a dark expression on his face.

"This is your bed." One of the junkies pointed to the mess of blankets on the floor. I stared at his back as he left me alone in the small room with two other mess of blankets on the floor. The home was small and breaking apart, the place was over loaded with steroid junkies and a few girls who I had no other choice but to call groupies. I placed my book bag on the floor as I dropped myself into the blankets. I did not stop my body from curling into a ball and turning with my back to the door. The room was dark until the light from the hall illuminated it.

"Jamie?" Kaleb's voice was husky the light was gone as soon as it came.

"Go away." I snapped.

"Don't be mad at me." I could hear the anger in his voice.

I turned over quickly sitting up staring at him. "What you did could be charged as kidnapping."

"Don't be dramatic." He chuckled.

"You picked me up and just threw me over your shoulder!" I yelled.

"But you walked into the house on your own." He smiled as he came to sit next to me.

"What do you want?" I asked turning away from him.

He smiled sweetly before grabbing me into his warm embrace. "I wanted to make sure you're okay."

I let out a sigh and inhaled his scent.

"I'm leaving tonight." Kaleb whispered.

"We are? Then why are staying here?" I whispered back.

"I'm leaving your staying." He muttered into my hair.

I jumped up out of his embrace, facing him in anger. "You're leaving me here!" My scream rattled through the house.

"I have to go find Twilight and Victoria." He stood up his face erased of any kindness it held before.

"Then why don't I go with you?" I stomped my foot.

"You'll drag me down, and I don't want you retracing all your steps." Kaleb sighed in frustration.

"So _you _decide to stay with a pack of over grown guys, _you _drag me here to stay even though _I _didn't want to stay here! And now _you're _leaving _me_ here?"

"They will take care of you."

"You don't know them!" I felt my anger boiling over.

"Do you think I would leave you here if there was a slight chance of it not being safe?" Kaleb walked over to me. "They are going to continue the journey with you."

"So that's it? This is where you get off?" I couldn't help the way my voice cracked.

He was right in his words, when you find yourself alone on the streets scared and confused the affection you receive becomes your addiction.

He was my addiction. He kept me safe, and now he was leaving.

"Jamie," His hands roamed his face. "I'll be back, I'm just going to get the girls and catch up with you guys."

I said nothing. I walked passed him back to my makeshift bed in this home where I did not want to be. I curled into the ball I was once in and closed my eyes. Sleep would be a careless dream to catch but for right now I was looking for something to take me away.

"Jamie…" Kaleb walked back towards me. His hand landed on my shoulder rolling me over to face him. "I promise I'll be back."

I just shrugged. I had nothing I wanted to say to him.

His eyes searched mine for a moment. His lips parted almost wishing to say something but they shut quickly as he stood.

I watched his shadow retreat from the room. The hall way light set a glow off his face and body, he looked back once more but I retreated my eyes not wanting to meet his.

And just like the light in the room, Kaleb was gone. It was then I began to wonder if I would ever see him again, if my wish from earlier would ever had a chance to come true. If it would of all turned out different if I would of just reached up and kissed him and begged him not to go.

I fell back into the sheets. Sleep would elude me tonight as well as sanity, I would stay awake in fear of the other side of the door that separated me from the rest of the house.

The laughs were loud almost like barks. The home smelled of dog and molded food, I placed my arms around my knees clutching them to my chest.

Every so often footsteps would come to the door, but they would leave moments later.

Hours passed, I was unsure of how many.

I placed my hands over my ears trying to drain out the sounds. My efforts were useless, I felt exhausted but I felt alert all at the same time.

The sun dropped through a small sliver of the exposed window. I looked down at my hand turning it over in the little bit of light I had. My hand glittered like jewels, I opened and closed my fist feeling the tense muscles move underneath the hardening stone called my skin.

I pulled my hand up to my face, I held my head in my hand as my hair fell forward like a curtain. It was stringy and oily, it was no longer brown it was black matted with dirt. I laughed, no wonder Kaleb found me as a child. I looked as if I had played in the mud.

I stood, I looked at the green sweater. It was splattered with mud and dirt it smelled like garbage. There was a knock on the door, startled and I moved away from the sunlight.

The door open an inch before opening all the way.

He was big, not the biggest guy I had seen from the last night. His skin was fair, almost balancing between pale and tan. His eyes were silver, his hair was long tied at the nape of his neck a few strands falling in his eyes.

"I came to check on you." His voice was light, like a refreshing summer day after a rainstorm.

"I'm Jamie." I found myself stuttering. I mentally smacked myself when I realized he had never asked for my name.

His smile was bright, he must of caught onto my stupidity. "Andrew" was his response.

A girl appeared behind him, her face was heart shaped and her skin was dark. Her lips were pink offsetting the color of her blue eyes. Her hair was long past her waistline, she fashioned a ankle length skirt. It seemed old in it's years but even the old tattered fabric couldn't hide her amazing sculptured body underneath. Over her shoulders she wore a small shirt with a rainbow on the front. Her nose wrinkled looking at Andrew's skull t-shirt and baggy jeans.

"What is that stench?" She brought her hand to her face.

My embarrassment skyrocketed. That smell was probably my lack of access to a shower.

"This is Bo." He waved his hands at the girl. "Bo," he turned to the girl, "This is Jamie."

"Oh, the traveler." She eyed my book bag.

I looked down grabbing my bag closer to me.

"There's running water here." Bo said as left the doorway.

"Give me your clothes." Andrew sighed. His eyes grew wide as mine did. "No I meant after you're in the bathroom."

I would be lying if I told you I was happy to see myself in the mirror.

I would be lying if I told you that I was happy to be locked in a small bathroom handing my clothes to a complete stranger.

I would be lying if I was terrified about my whole situation.

I would be lying if I told you that I didn't miss Kaleb.

I stood under the shower head letting the hot water melt the dirt off my skin. I began to scrub myself harder the necessary. I needed to be clean, I just couldn't think in the state I was in. I kneeled down holding my knees to my chest. I threw my head back letting the water hit my face.

How long has it been since I left home? How long has my mother looked for me? Did she look for me? Was she heading straight to my father?

My eyes burned under the water but I felt the need to keep them there. In this short time I felt years older, my body ached more and my throat contracted with the need for blood. I licked my lips thinking about quenching my thirst.

I let out a gasp as water filled my throat.

There was a knock at the door, I stilled instantly.

"I've got your replacement clothes." Bo's voice was hard.

"Okay." I squeaked.

I pulled the baggy jeans over my legs. I looked down at the over sized black shirt and laughed, I felt like a thug. I turned to look at myself in the mirror.

My eyes were more golden then before, they no longer held the murky mud color. My hair was lighter, the brown having turned up to a soft color, the bronze stripe hitting into a harder shade. I placed my hands to the mirror.

I didn't even recognize me.

"You dressed?" Andrew knocked on the door.

I raced to open the door to his smile.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Cool, you look good." He chuckled. "I want to introduce to the pack. Lila is washing your clothes and Bo is making some breakfast."

I met so many people I lost count of their names. I was intimidated to say the least, when Bo served breakfast it was like a frenzy to get the food that was put down. I sat next to Andrew entirely to scared to even reach my hand out.

He took over Kaleb's role.

He was 16, he liked football and girl's volleyball. He lived with his older brother and his friends. He was different then Kaleb. He was nicer and more talkative, I couldn't help but stare at him more then needed too.

"Waste of time." Bo shook her head looking up at me. As she sat on the floor outside the house, she sat under the shade of a tattered umbrella. The sun had hid behind some clouds for the time being, so I stood in front of her taking in her appearance.

"What do you mean?" I asked shoving my hands in the jean pockets.

"Andrew." She rolled her eyes. "He doesn't do….your type." She smirked.

"I am a type?" I rose an eyebrow, I felt the edge in my voice.

"You know, the whole teeny bopper thing."

"Teeny bopper?"

"Yes, I haven't heard you speak more then a few sentences but even I can tell you act like you're ten or something. Like you're scared of the big bad wolf." She smiled.

"I don't act-"

"I mean you chose to be on the streets didn't you? That's what your friend told us. He said you chose to be out here." She got to her feet. "So grow up and face the decision you picked. Be a woman. Don't hide in the room all night, or be so scared to even speak."

"You don't even know me." I snapped.

"I just see your kind a awful lot." she stretched. "Besides Andrew likes his girls with a little more bark. I could see that your friend did too." she winked at me.

"Kaleb?" My skin crawled.

"Hmmm." Was all she said as she sauntered away.

I sat on the grass. I felt disappointed some how, I thought I would find a friend in Bo.

"There you are." Andrew spoke with a laugh. "I was looking for you all over."

"I'm here." I gestured around us, I look up at the sun still covered by a cloud.

"Well, I hope you weren't scared off by meal time." Andrew held his hand out to me. "Because we are just barely starting with the fun."

I thought about Bo and her words. "It takes more then that to scare me off." I took his hand standing.

I looked up to see the sun peeking out from the passing clouds.

"Nice to know." Andrew tugged me along inside the house.

"Your hair is awesome." Lila giggled pulling the tin foil from my hair.

"Let me dye your hair!" A guy pleaded Andrew. The room broke into more laughter.

"Dude! You are NOT dying my hair pink." Andrew said pushing the friend away.

"But I bought it really cheap!" The guy came back holding the mixing bowl.

I looked at the pink strand of hair that fall in front of my face. I got it on the opposite side of my bronze one. I touched the wet hair and smiled. "Don't be a wuss." I smiled at Andrew.

His eyes widened at my accusation and then fell somewhat closed. "You're on Jam."

"Don't call me that!" I laughed regretting telling him about my childhood obsession over raspberry jam.

"Dye it, dye it!" the guys chanted as Andrew had to be pinned after rashly changing his mind.

And hour later, several bite marks, and a few scrub outs Andrew stood over the sink looking into a plate trying to make out his reflection. He had dyed just the very tips of his hair pink.

I giggled from behind him my fingers brushing his back as I played with dyed tips. He frowned turning back to face me. "Does this come out?"

"I'm sure it will." I sighed.

"Everyone still outside?" He asked placing the plate on the table.

"Yup." I whispered walking over a chair.

"Jam, if you don't mind me asking…why are you running away?" He whispered.

"I am not running away per say." I stretched. "I am running to my father."

"Oh." He sat across from me.

"Are you dating Bo?" I blurted into the silence.

His eyes lit up in laughter. "No." He leaned forward. "Between you and me, I don't like her. A lot of the guys do but she has too much…."

"Bark?"

He looked at me strangely for a moment before laughing again. "Exactly."

His hands danced across the table his oddly warm hands placed over mine. "What about you and that guy?"

"You mean the one that abandoned me here?" I frowned.

"Good point."

I moved my hands palm up the warmth was settling. "Have you ever kissed these girls?" I nodded to the door leading outside were more people had shown up.

"Yea, a few." He smiled.

"Wow" I whispered.

"What?"

"Does everyone start young?"

"Hey, I'm not a whore or anything." He laughed. "Or man-whore. Whatever you want to call it, I still got some respect."

"I didn't mean it that way, it's just…"

"You haven't done anything?"

"No."

"At all?"

"Nope."

"Wow."

"I know."

Silence.

"Didn't you ever just want to get it over with?" Andrew looked at me in question.

"I've never thought about it." I looked down at my white skin. "I had other thoughts on my mind."

"Are you thinking about it now?" He looked at me shyly.

I opened my mouth to answer.

"There you guys are." Bo sang into the kitchen.

I quickly place my hands on my lap. She stood there staring at me for a few moments before I got up excusing myself.

I raced quickly into the bedroom and sank against the door.

I didn't care I proved her right. I didn't care if she thought of me as a child.

I was lost, scared shitless lost.

I wanted my mom. I wanted her to explain the changes going on, I wanted her to explain the whole kissing ordeal.

I wanted Kaleb. His familiar tone, his warm skin. There was never any fear with Kaleb. He was blunt and honest, he never led misleading thoughts and I never felt so nervous around him. He was like my protector and now he was gone.

I wanted Andrew, his warm personality left me feeling as if I wasn't just a monster but a girl as well.

I wanted my father. The man who would explain it all to me.

I closed my eyes leaning my head against the door.

There a loud pound on my door, causing my head to vibrate.

I leaned off the door as it opened.

Andrew stood there a tad shameful. "I'm sorry if I came onto strongly or anything."

I shook my head and walked up to him.

"I am thinking about it though." I smiled weakly.

And he leaned down and stole my first kiss.

I felt his soft lips, and the vibrating warmth off him. The way his hands were gentle against my face.

But then I felt that drowning feeling.

~*~_"How do you deal with it?" I asked absentmindedly. "All their stories must be heart breaking."_

"_They are." Kaleb stepped towards me. He kneeled next to me as heat radiated off his body. _

_I picked up the cup of untouched soup and handed it to him. He stared at it for a second before taking it from my hands. He brought it to his lips staring at me intently. _

"_What's yours?" He whispered as he placed the cup down. _

"_I want to find my father."_

"_That sounds good." Kaleb spoke quietly. "But it's dangerous for you to travel." _

"_I know I know!" I snapped. _

_A small smile played on his lips. "I just don't want anything to happen to you. There are worst things out there then rapist and thieves." _

_I looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I just want to find my dad." _

"_That's pretty fair." Kaleb leaned back against the stone wall. _

_The door opened revealing Victoria. "Kaleb, come to bed." She looked at me with suspicion. _

"_I will." Kaleb nodded her obviously dismissing her. She let out a huff and turned leaving the door open. _

"_Oh married life at such a young age must be fun." I turned to look at him with humor. _

"_I'm not married." Kaleb whispered leaning his head back. He closed his eyes with a yawn and looked at me. "Are you tired?" _

"_No." I whispered._

"_Okay." He nodded._

I broke the kiss. Confused I looked at Andrew, his eyes heavy with attraction his breath shallow.

But all I saw was the memory of the first time I ever really talked to Kaleb. Lost in my trance I didn't even notice when Andrew dived in for seconds.

"_Kill me." I whispered. _

"_I would but then the whole journey would be kind of pointless." _

_I opened my eyes sitting up. I came face to face with him once more. _

"_How did you.."_

"_You know you're not that hard to track." His smile was a sly one._

"_Why…"_

"_I need a adventure, plus Twilight used guilt on me to come and find you."_

_I smiled looking at him, I don't think I had ever been so happy to see a person as I was him at this moment. _

_His arrogant smile made me feel like smacking him._

"_I don't need a baby sitter." _

"_Yes you do." _

"_No I don't"_

"_Just admit it Jamie, you need me"_

"_No I'm good on my own." I bit my lip to not smile._

"_Look, I can help you find your dad and you can pay me back by giving my a decent meal." he looked at the wicker basket in my lap. _

_It took me a moment before handing the basket to Kaleb._

_I was a good distance from home, I was in a whole other state. I had nothing but a couple of pictures and clothes one pair of shoes and a destination in mind that was half across the U.S. _

_But not one part of me felt alone anymore. _

"_Let's start moving short stuff, want to be at least a good distance from the town when night fall hits." Kaleb stood with the basket. _

"_Why?" I called after him. _

"_It'd be too dangerous. Now move your ass." _

_I growled looking at his back, but eyes couldn't help but travel lower. _

"_I'm not moving." I whispered. _

_Kaleb kept walking not bothering to look back or wait for me. Against my wishes I stood and began to run after him. _

_When I caught up to him he looked down at me and frowned. "Out of all this food you couldn't get a decent drink?" _

I felt the attraction build inside me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, I felt nothing but heat surround me.

His tongue begged for entrance, and I allowed it. I wanted to get closer.

"_When you're out on the streets like we are. You're forced to age beyond your years." His thumb reached up wiped something off my cheek. "You are forced to take affection where you can find it." he brought his thumb back showing me my own eyelash perched on the thumb. _

_I closed my eyes before blowing it away. _

"_What did you wish for?" He smiled. _

"_If I told you," I rolled on my back looking at the dark clouds above. "It won't come true." _

_I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was sweeter this way, when he was to exhausted to fight and too groggy to put up his usual walls. _

"Wow." Andrew broke the kiss, his forehead against mine.

I reached up once more. I just needed that feeling. I needed him.

"_So that's it? This is where you get off?" I couldn't help the way my voice cracked. _

_He was right in his words, when you find yourself alone on the streets scared and confused the affection you receive becomes your addiction._

_He was my addiction. He kept me safe, and now he was leaving. _

"_Jamie," His hands roamed his face. "I'll be back, I'm just going to get the girls and catch up with you guys."_

_I said nothing. I walked passed him back to my makeshift bed in this home where I did not want to be. I curled into the ball I was once in and closed my eyes. Sleep would be a careless dream to catch but for right now I was looking for something to take me away. _

"_Jamie…" Kaleb walked back towards me. His hand landed on my shoulder rolling me over to face him. "I promise I'll be back." _

_I just shrugged. I had nothing I wanted to say to him. _

_His eyes searched mine for a moment. His lips parted almost wishing to say something but they shut quickly as he stood. _

_I watched his shadow retreat from the room. The hall way light set a glow off his face and body, he looked back once more but I retreated my eyes not wanting to meet his. _

_And just like the light in the room, Kaleb was gone._

I pulled away. My body was on fire, my breathing couldn't catch up with my mind.

I was attracted to him.

The only problem was, I didn't know who it was I was attracted too.

Way to ruin my first kiss experience.

I stretched my toes apart taking in a sigh. I knew just relaxing wouldn't last, I laid out on the makeshift bed listening to the bustle of noise outside the door.

We are finally traveling out today.

I rolled over I stretched out my back, I thought about everything and felt just a small smile hit my face.

I smiled because I had taken an active step in find my father and soon I would come face to face with him. I was in deep thought when a knock broke through.

"Here." The clothes landed on my body blocking my vision to the see who threw them upon me.

"Thanks." I muttered as the door closed. I pulled the green sweatshirt to my nose and inhaled. It was clean it no longer smelled like him.

~*~_Jasper leaned down giving Alice a quick peck on the lips. _

_Bella smiled as Alice relaxed into the large couch as Jasper left._

_As soon as the man left the room the tension was thick, "So." Alice looked at Bella trying to search for something in eyes._

"_You already know." Bella whispered wringing her hands in lap. _

"_Tell me, just to humor me." _

"_I'm pregnant." _

I brought myself to my feet. I was getting better at handling things, I no longer felt dizzy afterwards and no longer felt suffocation.

"You ready to hit the road?" Andrew leaned again the doorframe.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I sighed putting the hoodie on.

"It's not raining." He eyed me as I pulled the sweater's hood up.

"I know. But I don't like sun."

"And she was never to be seen again." Bo sang song looking over at her shoulder at me.

I looked away, not because I was intimidated, but because I didn't want to look at her. My skin was probably holding a faint glitter. Andrew came up from behind me extending his arm around my shoulders. I looked at him with a weakened smile. He reminded me only of Kaleb, and looking at Andrew only ached my heart. I looked behind us at the following ten guys.

You would swear they were some kind of pack.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly.

"A older friend's house." Bo answered looking back at me with a sneer. "She's like our mother."

"Well I see her as my wife." A guy chuckled from behind making a thrusting movement.

"Pig." Bo said continuing her position in front of the group.

I frowned slightly looking at her frosty demeanor. "Why is she so….."

"Bitchy?" Andrew leaned down to my ear. "Because he boyfriend is some big hot shot so she acts like his rank is suddenly passed down to her."

I looked ahead wishing this trip would be over. Suddenly I was just filled with utter disgust and wanted these people far from me. The smell of wet dog began to over power me and I gagged slightly.

"Are you okay?" Andrew said removing his arm from my shoulders.

"Yea.." I whispered.

Bo stopped automatically her head held high in the air. "Does anyone smell that?"

"That sweet sickly smell?" A guy from behind me stated.

"Yea." Bo looked over the group her eyes landed on me.

I closed my burning eyes from the gagging smell. Then just as soon as the smell assaulted my nose, it left.

Bo's face scrunched up in confusion looking around the area. She continued to march on leaving our staring competition.

Andrew chuckled pulling his arm back around my shoulders.

I stared down at my feet looking at the way they almost floated above ground. My feet moved so gracefully that I didn't even think they were in fact my feet.

"Jamie," Andrew wondered aloud, "How do you like our little group?"

Bo shot him an annoyed look.

"It's okay." my voice wavered.

Bo snorted looking ahead. "Sorry little miss princess that we can't be more then okay."

I hung behind the group little as my mind wondered. Andrew joked around with a few buddies a few feet ahead. I stuffed my hands in my pocket hoping no one would notice how cold they felt to my face.

I let out a small sigh looking up at the sky, I felt a twinge of sadness.

"Jamie!" Andrew ran up grabbing my arm.

"What?" I asked shocked out of my thoughts.

Before he could answer we were running. It was difficult trying to stay at human speed.

"I really would prefer if we didn't run!"

The whole group was running, for reasons I didn't understand. Bo charged in front of the group jumping over fences leading the path exactly where we had to go. We trampled flower beds, stumbled over grass, and slipped on what I hoped was mud.

There was a lot of huffing and puffing when we stopped. "What the hell?" I looked at Andrew.

"There was danger." Bo answered for him stepping in front of him.

This girl was working my last nerve.

We were near a large field, the sun was high above us creating our shadows that all seemed to merge into one.

"We are close to home base." Bo snarled to the group of guys. We walked through the field at a slow pace, our legs ached from the sudden burst of exercise.

The silence last for a few moments before the guys were energized again. Soon they were tossing a discovered rock back and fourth. Running ahead, they left Bo and myself alone.

"You act like you don't even want to be here." She growled.

"You act like you're to good for everyone here." I looked away at the small house a few yard away.

"We don't have to protect you." She snapped.

"Then don't." I stopped turning to her. She stopped as well, she was taller then me suddenly.

"Maybe I won't."

"I never asked you too."

She pushed me back a few inches. "Then go ahead, get to your daddy's house alone."

I felt my hands push her back. "Don't ever touched me that way."

"Or what? You've been stomping around here like you've been damned to this life of wondering around on the streets. From what I was told you CHOSE to be out here."

"I'm looking for my father." I snapped. "You have no idea what it is like."

"To be abandon by a parent?" Bo placed her hands on her hips.

She had a point.

"You don't know our stories, I have news for you. Your story is not the only one out there, do you know why Andrew is out here? What about me? I am here because my parents hated what I was, they sent me off to some military camp. When I came back they were gone." She frowned. "Some times," Her voice grew softer touching my shoulder. "When a parent abandons you they don't want you to come find them. They ran for a reason."

"Shut up." I snarled. "My father, my family, is different."

"That's what they all say." Bo rolled her eyes continuing her path to the house. "Let me tell you Jamie, I've seen your kind before."

"My parent's are nothing like yours or any other family. My father had a reason to leave."

"What was it?" She turned around looking at me.

"I don't know."

"Did he come back?" "No." I snapped.

"Then you were the reason. It's apparent."

Something in me snapped. I was hungry, crabby and I felt dirty from the lack of showering. The inner beast in me unleashed and before I could stop myself. Survival instincts came over me. I watched as she walked away her retreating form almost like a red flag to bull.

I was moving, fast, my feet picked up off the floor and were in the air. My body clapped against her and we tumbled into the grass.

My body hit the floor but I felt nothing. At first when I felt my nails scrape across her face I thought it was my anger. If I was human I would of never seen it at that moment. But I did. The dot of red bubbled under her skin and dripped through the opening I created.

The world felt silent, my drive was not anger. It was thirst, I reached up twirling my fingers in her hair and I yanked hard. She yelled as she brought her elbow to my nose. It should of knocked me out, but it was to late the frenzy in me had started.

I released her hair and grabbed her shoulders. I tugged her down towards me on the floor and rolled on top of her. She brought her hands to my face trying to claw and slap me, her anger causing her to shake violently. My senses heightened terribly, I could see they way her pupils dilated as she swung her hands around.

The time seem to slow as the smell of her dripping blood touched the grass. I felt the vibration as the boys ran towards us. I looked back down at her hands that seemed to move slowly, I could hear nothing but my faint heart beat.

It happened in that second.

I bent down tearing into her shoulder with my teeth. She let out a scream that sounded hallow to my ears, someone yanked at me and I was flying backwards. I rolled across the grass my book bag ripping off my shoulders. I stopped my body lifting my self up, my mouth could taste the sweetness of her blood.

She stood up two boys by her side screaming for some one.

The wind blew and the grass blades bent in submission. I could each one brushing against the next. I crouched low running towards her once more.

This time she seemed ready.

She fell her to hands and knees shaking violently.

I slowed my tongue running over my teeth. I watched as the girlish curves disappeared under the masses of blonde fur.

Her eyes no longer soft and doe like but evil and full of rage.

The dog bent low looking at me, she had won. I was so stunned that when she sprang at me full force she took me down.

Her paws crushed my shoulders as her teeth snapped at my face I turned my head looking at the world through her furry leg. I watched what I could from under her, the world seemed to dim as I felt her breath on my cheek. Her growl coming closer to my ear.

Then it gone. She was gone. I looked up to see guys pulling her off me, my mind went blank as I closed my eyes and laid back down.

I was being pushed and pulled, my body was sat down on a hard surface and some one was holding me. I opened my eyes and saw Andrew, his eyes dove into mine. His worried lines creased around his eyes brows. "What happened?" His voice above whisper. I looked over him, we sat perched upon the stoop of the home

He was cradling me like a mother cradles her child. I looked up at him as his face grew closer to inspect a cut on my forehead.

"You tell me." I let out a sigh snuggling into his warmth.

"Yea, start from the beginning." The voice was deep and familiar.

My head shot to the side looking at Kaleb. I wiggled frantically out of Andrew's lap and wound up on the floor. Both boys stared down at me.

Kaleb's grey eyes bore into mine. At that moment Bo flew through the front door. "You left us with a vampire that's what happened!"

Kaleb's eyes snapped to mine and mine fell to the floor. I looked back up at him from the ground.

Just then another figure exited the home. "What's going on?" She looked down at me and my eyes would of stared into hers but the scars that mark half of her face distracted me.

"She's a vampire." Bo moved her hair to expose the bite marks.

Kaleb ran his hand over his face and turned around, I looked down not wanting to see his form retreat once more.


	6. Spit Swapping & Story Telling

**Thanks to my awesome Beta **

**Miss Cullen -I wish-**

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Chapter Six:

**All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. ~Maurice Maeterlinck**

The wind picked up it's speed. I brought my knees to my chest looking ahead at the bending blades.

"So…" The woman sat next to me with a cup of coffee in her hand. I looked up at her scars and felt a tug at my heart. I quickly looked away back at the expanding green lawn in front of me. My chin rested upon my knee. "My name is Emily." She whispered she held the coffee cup in front of my face.

When I declined she put the cup between us. "So, a vampire?" She looked down at me with a small all knowing smile.

"I know it's hard to believe but…" My mind ran out of words. But what? But I am a half vampire that is on the search for her long lost father? There was no but in this story. I looked away once more I could feel her body shake with a sigh.

"So tell me what's your story?" Emily picked up the coffee between us. The area was silent, but if I listened hard I could hear the whispering of the kids inside. I could hear and heavy sighs from Kaleb as he stood yards away looking out onto the field before us.

"My name is Jamie Cullen, I'm out looking for my father." I closed my eyes feeling sadness wash over me. "He's the only one who can help me understand who I am." I looked up at Emily.

Her eyes were wide, like saucers. She took a unsteady sigh closing her eyes and reopening them. I watched her as she stood up leaving me on the stoop alone. I heard the porch door slam and I felt alone. I stood up taking a few steps, I needed to talk to Kaleb.

"Jamie." Emily called out hold a book. I had made it a good distance from the house. "I knew you're parents. You're Bella's child?"

I was next to her in a blink of an eye.

"Your mother was a good friend of a friend. I didn't know them on a personal level but I knew of them." She opened the yearbook on her lap. "Your mother was a beautiful human, even if she thought differently. Your father, Edward, fell in love with her on sight. They were the greatest love story this side of life ever met."

"This side of life?" I whispered as she turned pages.

"She hasn't explained anything to you has she?"

"no."

Emily took in a sigh her fingers flew to her scar. "We'll start from the beginning. Vampires are the oldest predators to walk the earth. Their beauty draws you in and their voice soft like melodies but they could kill you with a snap of their fingers." Emily frowned. " Your father didn't kill however, he was one of the good guys."

"What happened to their relationship?"

"I wish I knew." Emily looked down at me.

"What happen to Bo…" I rubbed my knee slowly.

"Shape shifter or as you will call it werewolf." My mind felt tight, werewolves? Was all of this real? She could sense my confusion as she carried on. "It's centuries old my dear and to go over the fine print takes more then an old woman like me can tell. But these are descents from werewolves, just as big but can change at will. Pay mind however they are not your friendly neighborhood dog to you, vampires and werewolves have battled for ages." her gaze locked ahead on Kaleb.

"What are you?" I whispered.

"Human." She smiled kindly. "I've been surrounded all my life by the supernatural."

I looked over at Kaleb. I frowned slightly.

"He cares for you deeply…if I didn't know any better I would have to say…." Emily shook her head. "Impossible." before I could question her further Andrew came out onto the porch.

"Can I have a minute?" Andrew walked down the steps.

We were walking slowly along the forest's edge, I looked over my shoulder at Emily who stayed huddled up on the porch.

"Bo has calmed down." Andrew whispered. "We are all just a bit shocked that you've been with us for so long and we couldn't tell."

"Are you one?"

"Jamie," he chuckled. "Everyone for the exception of Emily on this lot is one." he grabbed my hand. "With expectation of you of course."

I looked over at Kaleb. "Even Kaleb?"

"Yea, he's more knowledgeable though. He's kind of tough around the edges uh?"

I nodded in silence. I guess I shouldn't have been so shocked, we all have secrets. Even though I thought this, I couldn't help but grab my head and slide down to dirt covered floor. The wet mud seeped through my pants. I looked up at Andrew who frowned and crouched down in front of me.

"I guess you're getting a lot of info in just a few timed spaces uh?" His hand came to my knee. "Do you need a minute?"

My dazed eyes must of answered him as he let out a sigh and walked away. I looked at my shoes and felt a chill come over me. Nothing was no longer normal, I felt years older then I was, it felt like I had left home years ago.

I put my head against my knees and began to rock back and fourth. I had to think of a plan.

_Okay _I told myself _I'm on a big field with about fifteen huge dogs, that could possibly want to kill me. One human who seems to have a link to my past and then Kaleb who possibly left me here again. _

I was screwed.

_Okay, let's not be so negative. We don't have full supernatural abilities so werewolves: 1 Jamie: 0. I'm 5'0 and those things are like two of me put together. Werewolves: 2 Jamie: 0._

The odds were not good.

I stood up and began to carefully walk back the house. The lot was silent, as if the event had never occurred. I knew that something was wrong, my secret was in the open now and I was here like a sitting duck waiting to be drowned.

_Can ducks be drowned? _

A thought to google later.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I had to focus.

"I told you not to mess with her." A sharp voice cut through the silence.

"I couldn't help it, besides he was lying." Andrew whispered back.

I spun around looking for the source of the voices but they were no where to be found. It was as if they were in my ear just talking away. I took slower steps following the voices.

"He told all of us not to mess with her because he imprinted on her." It was a male's voice, the way his tone hovered in the air it was of vulnerability. I knew he was younger then Andrew, which meant that if I was spotted listening to them not only did I have a fighting chance taking him, I knew Andrew wouldn't let him attack me.

"He couldn't have imprinted on her." Andrew's voice was hard, I wasn't used to his voice being so edgy. "He abandoned her, you know when we imprint we couldn't be able to leave the person behind."

"We could if it was for her best interest." the boy replied.

"He never imprinted on her, it's not apparent."

"Did you?"

The silence hung in the air.

"No."

"Then why the fight?"

"Because with or without that stupid curse I know what I feel."

I began to back away, turning on my heel I crept towards the stairs of the home. I bent over picking up the year book Emily must have left on the stairs. I opened it scanning the pictures of my parent's past.

I could feel it build up in me.

_Bella laid on the floor in a motel. Her breathing was ragged as she held onto her stomach, her face broken into a sweat. She pushed her arm in front of her digging her manicured nails into the dirty red carpet. She cried in pain as her nail broke. Her other arm crossed over her moving stomach. She threw her head back holding in a scream. Sweat matted her hair to her head, her jeans were covered in blood and her shirt was ripping from the stomach. _

_Her brown eyes looked up the end table her cell perched on the corner. She smacked the wooden leg watching the phone shake a bit. _

_She let out a moan as she held her stomach again, bile rising in her throat she spun onto her side as the content spilled onto the carpet._

_It felt as if she was being cut open from the inside out. _

_She hit the table once more watching as the phone smacked onto the floor a few inches away from her fingers. _

_Using her sock covered feet she pushed her self against the carpet picking up the cell phone. She cried as flipped open her phone. She brought her blood covered hand to wipe her tears away. She hit the menu button searching for the address book. _

_Her phone held her finger prints in blood as she finally found the address book. Her breathing began to weaken and her vision darkened. She hit the buttons slowly scrolling down the list._

_Her body weakened as her hand lost it's movement. She stared at the screen, at the highlight name wishing the phone would malfunction and call the name itself. The phone slipped onto the floor next to her. _

_Her breathing slowed as her fingers and toes twitched. Her brown eyes staring at the TV screen flickering with it's cheap picture. _

_There was immense pain, then screaming. Her own and another's, only the other screaming was more of a crying, a child's cry. Her mind lost itself as the pain began to drain her slowly._

_The banging on the hotel room door was faint. _

"_Ms? Are you okay? This is Dara from room 21B I' was next door and heard your screaming! Ms?" _

_Bella squeaked looking back at the highlighted name. _

_Edward. _

I gave on hard mental tug and I was out of the memory.

I dropped the year book.

That was it?

That was my birth?

I felt sickness tumble in my stomach. My ears rung, I took in a dry heave and felt hands hold my shoulders. My vision was blurry with painful tears. My birth hurt my mother to the point of death, I was born in a motel room. The worse part was that when I was born there was no one there to catch me and wrap me in the blanket.

What happened afterwards?

What happened before?

My head pounded why was this so difficult, I never thought digging into my past would be so painful. My body began to ache as pain spread up through my back.

There was a pair of hands feeling my forehead. "Jamie?" the voice was distant.

"This is disgusting." A voice said.

"To you." Emily's voice was close to me.

"So shut up and do it." The edge of the voice was familiar.

"I can't do this." the voice was finally clear enough. Andrew.

"Oh god." the other voice growled.

I opened my eyes slowly looking up at Emily who sat on the floor next to me with a bowl of water. I followed her gaze and looked towards Andrew who stood by the wall with a sour face and his arms crossed. I looked to his side and saw Kaleb over a bowl, his face constructed in determination. His fingers twisting a dead squirrel over the bowl, it's blood dripping down.

"Jamie?" Andrew pushed himself off the wall.

I looked at him and smiled lightly.

"Oh thank god you're okay."

Kaleb growled in the distance.

Emily dipped her fingers in the water and dragged them across my face. I looked at her face inches from mine. I could see everything in clarity. Her scars that decorated her face, the winkles that surrounded them. The gray hair that sprouted at the roots. I lifted my hand to hers and squeezed it, I just needed a mom right now.

Then someone was moving my legs I looked down and saw Andrew placing my legs on his lap as he rubbed them slowly.

Kaleb stood in front of me holding out the bowl. "Here." he kneeled down looking at me.

I could see it in his eyes, he was in unknown territory and he hated it. I looked at Emily.

"You fainted, when was the last time you ate?" Emily felt my wrist for a pulse. She was checking to see if I was changing. I knew it.

"I can't remember."

"We figured." Kaleb sighed.

"I sent the boys out to get you a supply."

"Yea, it was odd." Andrew sighed.

"Can you shut up?" Kaleb stared at him.

I reached for the bowl taking it from Kaleb. I took a sip closing my eyes as it quenched a fire I never even noticed burning. When I opened my eyes they were all staring at me.

"I'm sorry Jamie, I think I fed you too much information earlier." Emily frowned slightly.

"I need more." I choked out. "Tell me more."

She looked down and nodded.

" Your parent's were due to be married, yet something began to drive them apart everyone could see it in the town. The way your mother lost her shine and the way your father looked rigid. Yet months before that they were the couple you wanted to be. He was the only one who understood your mother, she was always more of loner. He made her smile more then anyone could. They met their senior year of high school. They were engaged by the next summer. Your father was a vampire, and your mother was human. This difference caused so much miscommunication and chaos. But I never knew a lot of the story, I was never really close to your mother nor your father. But one day your mother just boarded the plane with you in her stomach and your father staring at the plane as it flew off. Your father took it hard, their split seemed to dampened the city."

She sighed. Looking at me to the boys then back at me.

"How did you know about my father being a vampire?"

"I…" she touched her scars. "I used to hang out with the 'werewolves' of Forks. I was married to one to be exact. I knew your parents in passing but I knew about the folk tales and the I had seen the world of battles between werewolf and vampire."

"What happened to your husband."

I could see her eyes dull in shine and her mouth twitched. "He was killed, by a vampire."

I felt my heart drop.

"The vampire was looking for your mother but she had already boarded the plane. My husband, Sam, stood in the way between her and the plane passengers. The plane escaped her but Sam…"

"I'm sorry." I squeaked.

My voice broke through her thought. "It's okay, my husband died doing what he loved best, and that was protecting the innocent." she grabbed my hand. "I think I should leave you three alone to talk."

Just like that she was gone. Though she was clear across the house I could hear her sniffles.

"So…that was intense…" Andrew chuckled.

"Shut up." Kaleb snapped.

"What's imprinting?" I said as I sat up.

Both boys' attention snapped to me.

"How did you hear about that." Kaleb looked down at me.

I looked into my bowl of blood and looked at the wall. "I heard it somewhere."

"You were snooping in on my conversation weren't you?" Andrew asked.

"She doesn't have to snoop, her hearing is just as good as yours." Kaleb shook his head.

"What is it?" I asked again.

"Get out." Kaleb turned to Andrew.

"What?" Andrew looked surprised.

"Get out, you've done enough."

"But…"

"Leave or I will force you." Kaleb stepped forward.

"Hey." I snapped. Both once again looked at me. "Andrew outside." I stood up placing the bowl down, "I will go out and talk to you in a just a bit."

Andrew stood retreating from the room.

Kaleb turned to me. "How did you not tell me?"

"How could you not tell me?" I retorted.

Kaleb turned away shaking his head. "Do you know how much you put us at risk?"

I took a step back as if he had smacked me in the face. "Excuse me?" I laughed. "I didn't put anyone at risk unlike you, who leaves me with a pack of wolves and then doesn't come back for awhile and when he does he doesn't even ask if I'm okay!"

"Why? I didn't need to ask you had your little boyfriend." Kaleb shrugged.

"What's your problem with Andrew?"

"How long did it take until you two hooked up?"

"What?"

"You don't think I haven't heard about you two?"

"Why do you care? Don't you have your precious Victoria? By the way where is she?"

"I had to leave them again."

"Seriously?"

"I knew you were in trouble."

"Why is it you only come to me when I'm in a deadly situation?"

"That's not true."

"Yes it is!"

"I found you on the stoop curled into a ball whimpering about cell phones and blood."

"I was fainting."

"What was with that anyway? What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." I shrugged, "I don't have to explain it to you."

"You know what?" Kaleb snapped his voice raising. "I don't care anymore, all you do is complain about everything you're so self fish you know that? Did you think that me taking you across the U.S. fucking A was an easy choice? I had family back home, I had a life, and I uprooted just to take you to your goddamn father's house!"

"I never fucking asked you to do anything for me!"

"Would it kill you either way to say thank you!"

"For what? Being a sarcastic dick all the time? Leaving me with dangerous strangers?"

"You're still alive aren't you?"

"Barely!"

"That last few minutes was your fault! No one told you to attack anyone!"

"I was defending myself!""Yea and look were your defense has gotten you!"

"To the truth! To what you wouldn't tell me!"

"Don't bitch about my secret! You had one too!"

"You're such a dick!" "I don't care! I was the dick who kept you alive for the past weeks, I was the dick who helped you get food and kept you company that is until I got replaced with Nancy boy over there!"

"Why are you so jealous?"

"I'm not! That would require for me to give a fuck about you!"

"Then shut up about Andrew! No one is asking you to stay! Andrew can take me the rest of the way with Emily's help."

"Andrew is going to finish this trip with you?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, I don't need you anymore! So there you're free to go!"

"So still no thank you for carrying your ass this far? You're ditching me for that that…"

"For my boyfriend? Yes, I am, but hey you don't care right?"

His hand grabbed the bowl of blood that laid between us. His muscles twitched as he threw it against the wall. "That's the last thing I do for you."

He walked out the house slamming the door behind him. Minutes passed and there was silence. I stood there, waiting for him to come back. Yet he never did. There was a howl in the distance but then silence.

I stepped over the shattered glass and the wooden door frame with new cracks in it. I opened the door carefully slipping out. I looked at Andrew who sat in the grass. The sunset coloring his skin nicely.

"Andrew?" I whispered as I stood feet from him.

His smile was warm as he opened his arms towards me. I fell into them as we sat in the grass.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I heard everything."

"It's okay." I whispered. "I have nothing to hide anymore." _expect everything. _I thought to myself.

It was silent until I spoke up again.

"What is it?"

"What?"

"Imprinting?"

He sighed. "Later honey, later."

He was snoring as I pushed myself up and walked into the home once more. It was dark now, I opened the door and heard some one sneeze.

"Hello?"

"It's me dear." Emily called out. "Turn on the lights please."

I did so and saw her on her hands and knees picking up the glass.

"Why were you in the dark?"

"It's easier to clean glass when it sparkles in moonlight."

"I'm sorry about that." I whispered looking at the door frame.

"I'm quiet used to it by now." Emily smiled at me.

I walked toward her and sat on the couch.

"It's when a wolf falls in love with some one on first sight. Then it's as if they can't deny a request from the person."

I looked at her in confusion.

"They are not obsessed, but they just find their love in that person and then is willing to do what ever it takes to make them happy." she smiled at me. "That is what imprinting is."

"Oh." I said.

Then I suddenly felt extremely sad.

The hours ticked by, the sun set no longer painted the sky and the magic of its calming effect had worn off. I sat on the porch scanning the large area ahead of me. My chin propped up by my knees, I looked up at the night sky. The way the stars shun across the sky, it almost seemed to normal. To those stars in the sky I was just another girl looking upon them. Yet to myself and everyone else connected into my life knew better.

There was a rustle among the field.

"Kaleb?" I jumped up taking the few steps of the stoop.

Silence answer back to me. My heart twisted ruthlessly, had Kaleb imprinted on me? It would explain so much.

I sat down on the grass feeling the early dew seep against my ass.

"You're quiet younger then I thought you'd be." I jumped up looking at a face I remember to well. She was blonde, she stood about 5'6. Her eyes burned vibrantly red and her skin shun like a pale marble counter top. She wore a long red clock over her body.

The blonde from the alley.

"What do you want?" I said shrinking back almost ready to attack.

"Don't attack me." Her eyes seemed evil. "Trust me, you don't want to do that."

"What do you want?" I repeated.

"Why are you alive?" She stepped towards me. "What is your mother planning?"

I stepped back. "I'm alive because I was born. My mother is planning nothing. Who are you?"

"Jane." She whispered looking at me. "You are a strange sight for immortal eyes." her small pale lips turned into a smirk.

"How did you find me?" I looked around wildly.

"Let's just say I have connections." She stepped forward again. "What is your _family _planning to do with you?"

The way her venom seeped into each syllable of the word "family" seemed painful. "I don't have a family."

Her eyes narrowed at me, for a split second all was quiet but then I felt my insides stretch almost as if two people had tugged on them as hard as they could. I fell to my knees and my body felt as if I was being spilt into two.

"Scream and I kill you." She bent down whispering to me.

I grabbed my stomach trying to hold it down. I looked back up at her blood filled eyes searching for an answer.

"Why are you still alive?" She snapped yanking on my hair.

And just like that I felt my lung pull under the depths of reality.

"_Seemingly, you must know this is routine." Jane stepped into the well light home. Her skin glittered as she removed her hood._

"_Of course." Edward nodded as he turned to his left. His skin sparkled in the sun as he looked over his shoulder. "Follow me please?" _

_Their steps made no sound as the climbed the stairs. A small woman with spiky hair looked down upon Edward and Jane. Jane let a small smile play on her lips looking the girl. _

"_Alice," Edward began. "I am giving Jane the mandatory follow up." it was almost as if he was warning her. _

"_Bella is in the study with Jasper." Alice snarled as Jane passed. "And as you will see, she is perfectly human." _

"_We shall see." Jane's cool demeanor chilled Alice to the bones. _

_Edward softly pushed the study open to reveal Bella sitting on the desk as Jasper paced in front of her holding a notebook. Bella's eyes held a slight boredom in Jasper's pacing, her brown eyes landed on Edward then followed to Jane. _

_Her boredom turned to pain. She no longer feared this woman as a predator. She feared her as something else entirely different._

"_She stills smells human," Jane snickered as she walked up to the petite brunette. "How are you doing Isabella?" The way she said these words as she looked down onto Bella, left the human squirming._

_Bella looked away from Jane's eyes and out the bay window, with a heavy sigh she answered. "I am doing fine." _

"_Edward darling," Jane held out her dainty hand. "I sure do feel quite faint, do you believe you could bring me some thing to quench my thirst?" _

_Edward's eyes darted to Bella and then Jane. "Um…"_

"_No worries, I will not harm your precious pet, but you must understand that she and I will have to be alone for me to full asset this situation." _

_Edward frowned as he muttered agreements and disappeared. The door close silently behind him. _

_Bella still face the window but now her eyes lay closed in pain. Jane's hand was fast as I tangled in Bella's hair tugging her head back. _

"_Scream and I kill you." She whispered so low Bella could barely hear. She checked Bella's neck finely with her eyes before forcing Bella to look at her. "You will die one day, either by the Cullen's hand or my own. But I promise you if it is by my own," she released Bella's hair. "You will not wake up again." _

I felt my hand reach up to Jane's chest and give one firm push. Then I was up and running away from her. My sneakers slipped on grass but I kept my pace ahead, in a blink I was across the field and the branches of the forest trees slapped across my face. I felt the wind yank through my hair and then I felt a wetness.

I thought it was rain but then as the two drops fell to an angle due to the wind I stopped suddenly. I lifted my fingers to my eyes and drew them back. I expected blood.

I saw a tear.

I dropped to my knees holding the single tear on my finger.

I haven't cried in so long, and now just as simple as this the tears flew from my eyes. I felt human for the first moment in weeks. I was scared, alone, and crying. I savored the moment engraving it to my memory.

I felt a tug at my lungs and felt them begin to sink underwater.

No. no I was not letting this memory be replaced with some one else's.

I closed my eyes and thought about everything else but the tugging in my lugs. I started to shake and shiver, my vision fought between blurs and clarity. The tears slipped down my neck and into my shirt.

Then I was out.

There was a soft pounding noise. My eyes opened and I saw the dark brown fur, then in a spilt second they closed again.

My eyes opened once more and saw the flash of blonde hair, and then just like that it was all blackness again.

I pushed myself up, my vision blurred. It was still night, and as I rolled over onto my ass I held out my hands in front of me. I could faintly see the outline of them, I looked up to the moon and I felt like reaching out to touch it.

"You are the stupidest vampire I ever met." The voice was low like a growl.

I jumped on in a second ready to take defense.

"Chill put your fangs away." Kaleb's voice was smoother now.

I looked wildly around me. My night vision failing me.

"Wow, you're really bad at this. The other one was better." He chuckled, it was a bitter chuckle.

"Kaleb, stop messing with me." I snapped. "Where are you?"

A hand grabbed one of my flaying arms. "I'm right here." I felt my head spin a little. "Why are you so bad at this?"

"Bad at what?"

"Being a vampire."

"Why are you so bad at leaving?" Although I couldn't see him, I could hear his frown. "Kaleb, can we talk? Like civilians?"

"Are we not talking now?" Kaleb said gently tugging on my arm to follow him.

"Yes, but-""And I doubt civilians would even talk about werewolves and vampires now would they?"

I stumbled on a rock and the next thing I knew my ass had connected with the floor. We both sat there for a while, the silence between us. Until I couldn't hold it in anymore.

My laughter bubbled in my chest and then it bounced off the trees and spread across the forest. Kaleb's laughter was lower and his laughter seemed to shake the trees.

"Wow." Was all the mumbled.

"Yes, I know the only vampire to ever fall on her ass." "No…" He said and began laughing again. "The only person to fall on their ass because of a pebble."

"It's a rock." "Pebble."

"Rock."

We both fell silent. We both knew what we were avoiding, the inevitable discussion which would wind up with both of us bearing all to each other.

"Let's go." He whispered grabbing my arm and flinging me to my feet. I barely was able to gain balance until he swooped me into his arms and carried me bridal style. It was when we reached the light on the porch of the house that he set me on my feet. He sat on the stairs and looked up at me.

Something about his eyes that seemed to remind me of a stray puppy. I looked away and back up at the moon.

"Where do I start?" I said finally gathering the balls. I looked down at my feet.

"At the starting point?" He leaned back on his elbows.

I took a deep breath, "I was born to an Isabella Marie Swan, she was human when she met my father. His name is Edward Cullen, he is a vampire. They fell in love and got pregnant with me, the sorry thing is I don't know my father, and what I know about him is from other's memories. I am a half vampire half human girl. Well as of this moment I could be like 75% vampire and 25% human. My mother doesn't know a lot about vampires, but I know in my heart my father does. Each minute ticking by I become more of an monster, and I want to reach my father before the minutes stop ticking by. I don't want to become this monster without knowing how to control anything. My mother wouldn't share with me what I wanted to know about my father. I just want to meet him, to hug him, for him to just…be a dad.

"I thought the hardest part of this trip would be finding my father. But I was wrong, the hardest part of this trip is discovering me. I feel like this robot with the wires exposed, and there is this evil scientist connecting wires that don't connect. I feel like I'm short circuiting, one minute I can run as fast as every other vampire then the next minute I'm running like a human. I can't see that well at night, my skin feels tight and dry, I can't cry but for some reason I did earlier." I was looking Kaleb in the eye now. "It sucks because everyone around me can sense there's something going on in my body but I can't sense it, it's like….no it is…I am waiting to die and it feels horrible. To fight the stereo type of a girl, I just really want my dad to make it all go away."

Kaleb leaned forward, "What about what happened earlier? Why did you pass out?"

I took in another sigh sitting next to him. "It's my…I can't explain it…but it's like I see the past. It's not just any past though it's my mother's, my father's and those who surround them. They are like a vision, sometimes I can smell the smells, I can feel the surroundings. Sometimes I see the vision as if I was my mother and then there are time I watch the vision like a TV show. Sometimes the memories are painful, sometimes they bring me closer to my mother and father. But earlier was the first time I ever pushed myself out of one. I didn't want to see the memory, and then in the woods…I was out because I refused to view the memory."

"What were the memories?"

"I don't know the second one, but the first one…it was my birth. It was horrible."

Kaleb sighed leaning forward his elbows on his knees. "Do you get everyone's memories?"

I realized maybe sharing that part wasn't a great idea. Maybe Kaleb found this as a sense of invasion of privacy. "I haven't seen yours."

He let out a breath of relief. "I guess that explains why you aren't the greatest vampire."

"What about you?" I said picking invisible lint of my sweater. "How are you such a great wolf?"

"I'm not great…" He frowned. "I was twelve when I first became this. You see, people who have the blood of the shape shifters only become one when there is a spike in vampires in the area." He looked at me with a smile. "I met this old lady who seemed to automatically know what I was, and little by little she helped me understand everything. You see her son was one long ago and she said she saw just a bit of him in me. She kind of took me under her wing." He let a chuckle escape his throat. "She was 5'0 and 79 years old."

"Didn't you loose your virginity at twelve?" I whispered.

"Yea.." He stood up.

"Hey," I snapped. "I told you everything."

He frowned and then lowered himself back down on the steps. We sat in silence for a long time. His elbows on his knees his head in his hands.

"It was in October, I remember it because the leaves had just started falling and every October I would gather the leaves in a black trash bag and paint the bag orange. Then my mom would paint on eyes and mouth to make it look a jack-o-latern. I was never a good artist." His mouth turned up at the memory causing little wrinkles by his eyes. Then his eyes lost their sparkle, and his mouth returned to a scowl. "It had been four months of learning what I was. I owed my life to the little old woman, she held my hand as I changed, she talked me through phasing in and out of form. My parents always thought I was at the library or at a bike shop. Then one October day my mother's sister had a child. My mother needed to go to the hospital to meet the child but needed me home so I could tell my father where she was when he got home. Yet when she went looking for me at the bike shop and the library she didn't find me of course, so she waited for my father to get home. I don't know how in the hell to this day, they found me in that little old woman's antique shop. We were sitting over a small table with candles lit as she told me a story about vampires. When my parent's took in the scene…they lost it. They thought I was practicing witch craft, they were angry that I had lied to them, and they believed something sexual was going on. That wasn't the worst part." His hand fell to mine and I could sense that stray puppy sadness vibrating off him. I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"The woman told them everything about me, in order to calm the storm and save my ass. They didn't believe her until we were forced to show them. It took them awhile but they warmed up to it…a little to well. They learned about the power and strength I had, they learned all that I could be both good and evil. Ever heard of a puppy mill?" His voice became harsher. "My parent's wanted grandchildren, even though I was twelve. We were sitting down at dinner when mother sprang it on me, she invited this girl named Carmen over. She was sixteen and she was to be the mother of my children. I was completely dumbfounded, but I had no time for questions because Carmen was already at the door. She was tall and tan, she had the longest thick hair I had ever seen. Only when we all sat down to dinner, I was under the impression that I would marry her when I was old, and for now she was my girlfriend. Hey I was twelve," He smiled a sad smile. "I thought dating an older hot chick was cool. That was until my parents sat us down in the living room and turned the lights down low and lit candles. They told me what I was to do…I was to have sex with her and breed them champion wolves. Beautiful and strong." He squeezed my hand. I could tell it had been awhile since he visited this memory.

" My parent's were dumb, unaware that if my children did have descendent blood, it never meant that they would tap into it until the vampire community grew to the point where a new generation of wolves were needed. They also never understood what the pregnancy could possibly do to Carmen's body." He paused. "Carmen's parents were paid a pretty penny for their daughter's services and my father told me to 'Make sure I used up ever cent of her worth.' then they left the living room and went into the next room. Carmen looked hurt and scared, and I realized how much this hurt both of us. I began to cry, I beg my parents that I couldn't do this but they wouldn't hear it. They locked us in the living room, and when I refused still, they came into the living room and sat there staring at us. My mother began to cry and my father began to guilt me about her tears. Carmen and I lost our virginity on my living couch in front of my parents. All was calm after that life seemingly returned to normal, until that call….Carmen took a pregnancy test and she was not pregnancy. I guess I was too young to actually impregnate a girl. My parents were so angry with me…they…they beat me. They wanted power and I was their only key to it and I couldn't fulfill my duties. They had set up another date with Carmen, however the day before she committed suicide. I guess she couldn't take being sold and used as an oven, I didn't blame her. We attended her funeral, I watched tons of people cry over her casket and felt so much…guilt. Her death was my fault, if I wasn't this…this beast, she would of never have been needed. I watched her friends from high school go to her casket, her grandmother, her boyfriend…all of them. Yet none of them knew that her reason for her death was in that funeral. I never thought about leaving my home until I walked up to the casket and saw her. Her face pale, her hair was no longer thick and shiny. It was brittle and stringy. I ran away that night and I've been on the streets ever since."

After a long silence, I finally spoke up. "Who in your family passed down that blood to you?"

"My grandfather, for some reason my father never inherited it."

We didn't say anything for a long time. I laid against his shoulder breathing calmly. He was still tense, his eyes closed but his eye balls moving rapidly.

"Kaleb." I tugged on his shirt pulling his attention away from the inside of his eyelids. He looked down at me with so much sadness, I didn't know what came over me. But my hands wrapped around his neck and brought his head towards my chest. He didn't resist me, and as he shifted himself to become comfortable I looked up at the moon wondering how we looked to it right now. He rested his head on my lap and he closed his eyes. Soon he was snoring away, we must have looked so odd, a large boy with his head laying in a small girls lap. He looked like a five year old to me, so open and so not like the Kaleb I had come to known.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against his temple. Suddenly I was filled with determination. I didn't care what happen yesterday or the day before. I wanted to get to Forks, and not with just anyone but with Kaleb.

I pressed my lips against the corner of his lips. He stirred just a bit and I froze thinking I had gone to far. Then I realized I couldn't do this.

What if we did make it to Forks? Would he stay with me? Would he leave? How could I like this boy I barely knew? Why was I even thinking about him in times like these? I was looking for my father not a fling.

I slipped out from under him and entered the house. I walked into the kitchen my mind still reeling with negatives and ways to get out of this mess. I didn't want to be involved with a guy who would hurt me. I didn't trust Kaleb with intimacy, he wasn't capable. I seen him with Victoria, I know how he was.

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and turned on the faucet. I took a sip of the water and placed my hand on the counter. I took in a deep breath, and then a hand wrapped around my waist.

I was spun around and then there were lips pressed to mine. I pulled away quickly and looked up at Kaleb, his face was close to mine and his forehead pressed against mine. Our noses inches away, our breathing was steady. He looked at me and I nodded slowly. He pressed his lips back to mine, it was slow and shy. My hands cupped his face and his arms closed around my waist.

There were no flash backs. No lungs being pulled under water, no one else's memories. It was just me and Kaleb. My own memory.

And that alone made it so much sweeter.


	7. Defending More Then Love

**Okay I've already started my next chapter :)**

Daughter to father, daughter to father!  
I am broken, but I am hoping  
daughter to father, daughter to father!  
I am crying, a part of me's dying  
and these are the  
confessions of a broken heart!  
And I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater.  
I dream of another you, one who would never,  
leave me alone to pick up the pieces.  
Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed.  
"Confessions of a Broken Heart" - Lindsay Lohan

"**Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."**

* * *

"Okay", Kaleb spread the map out over the kitchen table "Game plan ideas anyone?" He looked over at me quickly looking away from my stare. It had only been five hours ago, when our lips were smashed together and his body trapped mine.

I looked at his mouth as his eyes scanned the map. I closed my eyes remembering the way his fingers felt as they traveled down my side then up to my cheek. The way his breathing was raging as he picked me up pushing me against the fridge door.

I shook my head looking away quickly as well. We had to get to business we both knew that. Andrew walked into the kitchen and the whole room froze up. Or at least I felt like it did. Yet Emily continued cooking and the others gathered around the small color TV watching some roadrunner cartoon. I felt a cold isolation from them, though some of them warmed up to me due to Emily's influence and some others feared Kaleb strong enough to leave me alone. I looked over at Andrew, oblivious to what happened between Kaleb and I. Andrew placed his hands on my shoulders lowering his lips to my cheek. All the while my feared filled eyes stared at Kaleb who stared at Andrew's lips.

Kaleb cleared his throat loudly before looking down at the map again.

"Route 50" Emily said looking over Kaleb's shoulder. "Is quicker."

"It's a highway, we can't walk on a highway." I looked up at the two of them.

"I've made a deal with Kaleb." Emily smiled. "If he can fix up and old rabbit in the garage he can drive it down to Forks with you."

My heart pounded, well as much as it could anyway, "I'll meet my father sooner?" I jumped up.

"If I can fix it…and then there's still the long drive and finding Victoria and Twilight." Kaleb said smoothing out the map.

I was shaking my head like a mad woman. "I don't care! I get to meet my father faster!" I jumped up and down throwing my arms around Andrew.

It wasn't until I felt his arms drape around my back that I froze remembering the new developments.

"I'm going to work on the car." Kaleb cleared his throat. I watched as he left the kitchen leaving me in Andrew's arms.

I snuck out quietly after breakfast to hear the tinkering and cursing of Kaleb's breaths.

"Kaleb?" I whispered entering the barn. He turned to face me and I lost my breath for a second. He had taken his shirt off and it laid neatly on his shoulder. Motor oil painted his forehead and his hands, which he wiped on his shirt. His tan skin glistened through the morning sun filtering into the barn.

"What?" He huffed.

I looked behind him at the Volkswagen. It was a dingy red, the years had taken it's toll on the car's edges that began to rust out and on the side of the car were painted yellow lightening bolts. I looked at his face and saw his annoyance.

"What?"

"How's your boyfriend?" Kaleb growled.

"Kaleb… I intend to tell him.."

"Don't" Kaleb snarled.

"What?" I felt confusion rise in me. Wasn't he all huffy and puffy because he was jealous? "You can't he'll cause a scene and make our stay difficult. Pretend, or don't pretend, what you feel for him.." Kaleb continued to wipe his hands.

"I don't love him or anything." I picked up on the last sentence, and his jealously.

"Yeah. . ." He sighed.

"Besides I don't want to lie about my feelings."

"It works best for protection. Well sometimes, it didn't work quite well when I tried it." He mumbled then, "If it did I wouldn't have this problem."

"What problem? When did you lie?" I said stepping into the barn further.

"When I left you with them. I told them I…imprinted on you.."

My heart fell.

"But I guess they didn't take me seriously." he saw my face fall and frowned. "You know what imprinting is don't you?" I nodded.

"Shit."

I cleared my throat. "No it's okay, I get it." I turned away looking at the car. "So what do we have here?""A very old car that was fixed and rebuilt from the ground up."

I touched the car's rusty exterior and felt a violent mental push.

"_Don't honk the horn!" A tall native looking boy said as he bent under the hood of the car. _

"_Sorry…." Bella slid out looking at him. _

"_It's cool B, just start the engine." He smiled at her. _

"_Jacob don't call me B." She turned the car. _

_It was silent as the car came to life. _

"_Yes!" Jacob jumped up hysterically. "I built this thing and it can run!" _

"_Congrats." Bella said slamming the door behind her as she stepped out of the car._

_Jacob ran up to her scooping him in her arms. He spun her around in a circle. He slowed as they looked each other in the eye. He smiled holding her still in the air. _

"_Jacob.." Bella whispered so close to his face. _

_A song by Thousand Foot Krutch came into the air. Jacob placed Bella back on her feet as she reached for her phone. _

"_Hi." She smiled into the phone. "You're here?" She looked up at Jacob. "Okay I'm coming." _

_She closed the phone looking up at Jacob._

"_Edward's here isn't he?" Jacob growled. "Bella…"_

"_I've got to go Jacob." She whispered running towards the door. She paused and turned around. "Good luck on the rabbit." then just like that she was gone._

"Jamie?" Kaleb had me in his arms. He shook me gently and I snapped out of it looking up at him.

"Huh?""Where'd you go?" He frowned.

"Just…a flash back from the car." I patted the car.

"Oh." Kaleb smiled slightly.

"You look better when you do that you know." I whispered to him.

"Do what?"

_Not wear a shirt. _"Smile." I looked down.

He smiled a wide smile and laughed. "Thank you, and you look better when you…"

"Jamie?" Andrew's voice rung through the barn.

We jumped apart as I raced to the barn's doors. "I'm coming!" I called to him. I looked back at Kaleb who now leaned against the car looking like a model. He was bunching his shirt into a ball before he launched it across the barn. "Good luck on the rabbit." I whispered to him. He just nodded looking at his feet.

I left racing towards Andrew. Trying to forget the fact that Kaleb never imprinted on me.

It was dark by the time I was able to escape to the barn once more. I looked inside and saw Kaleb hovering over the car's open hood.

"Any luck Mr. Fix it?" I smiled.

"Any luck with making out with Andrew?" He shot back without turning around.

_Oh…he saw that? _"You told me to lie."

"I didn't mean shove your tongue down his throat." He growled.

"What's your problem?" I snapped.

"Nothing," he mocked. "I mean I guess I should just go shove my tongue down Bo's throat to work the lie better?"

I rolled my eyes walking into the barn. "You're stupid." I walked over the deeper corners of the barn looking at the old junk.

I felt his eyes on me as I dug through the junk.

"Are you bored?" his voice was deep with a different meaning.

"I'm just…curious. Everyone is doing something and I don't know…" I stopped looking down at it. I smiled almost too overjoyed. "it's been so long!"

"What?" Kaleb called from his spot.

I pulled the guitar out and walked over to an empty crate. After tipping it over and turning it into a seat I strummed lightly on the guitar.

"You know how to play." Kaleb smiled saying it more as a fact then a question.

"Yes." I whispered.

We fell silent for a while, his tinkering and few grunts of annoyance, and my fingers strumming and tuning the strings.

"You think you own whatever land you land on the earth is just a dead thing you can claim but I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name" The words flew out of my mouth softly, I didn't think about it. All I could think about at that moment was werewolves.

"Keep going…" Kaleb whispered looking at me. "I like it."

I smiled and cleared my throat. "You think the only people who are people are the people who look and think like you but if you walk the footsteps of a stranger you'll learn things you never knew you never knew" I paused thinking before I continued on. "Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or ask the grinning bob cat why he grins can you sing with all the voices of the mountain can you paint with all the colors of the wind can you paint with all the colors of the wind"

I stopped after hearing Kaleb drop his wrench to the floor.

"What?" I whispered.

"How did you…?" He stopped his mouth mimicking a goldfish.

"What I do?" I let the guitar down slightly.

Kaleb backed away from me leaving me alone in the barn. I stared at the door waiting for his return, yet when he didn't I felt confusion and anger bubble inside of me.

"Are you serious?" I growled to the emptiness. This man was like a rubric cube! Two steps forward 3 steps back. I walked over to rabbit and kicked it's tire for all it was worth. "Fucker!" I seethed at the car. I turned around and looked around the barn. I slid down against the car and felt sadness paint my feelings.

I felt the calming sense then.

"_Don't be a wuss." Bella peered over her book towards him. _

"_I'm not a wuss." Edward turned to look at her with a smile. _

"_Then jump."_

"_Why don't you?" _

"_Do you want me to?" Bella smiled back playfully standing up in her jeans a sweat shirt. She stood on a cliff letting her hands and arms spread out to her side. The wind combed through her locks as she let her body fall forward. _

_Edward's hands grabbed her from the edge keeping her to his chest. "Do you think I am insane enough to let you jump?"_

"_No, I just wanted you to hold me close." She whispered pressing his lips against his. He chuckled giving into the kiss. _

I barely had a chance to breathe, my hands flew to the rabbit scrunching the metal under my hands.

_Bella stood in just the next room. Her vision quite clear of the foyer, she felt like a child on Christmas Eve, sneaking down the stair case to watch Santa leave the gifts of innocence. But this was no gift, and the innocence had been drained long ago. _

"_Well, I'm glad to be away from Aro." Edward smiled weakly as he could scrambling for conversation._

_Oblivious, they both were to the human's presence. Fooled, they were, thinking everyone was out shopping, hunting, or in Bella's case, visiting her father's home. She was suppose to be there but when she saw the Volvo in the drive way after her shower she raced to throw on one of Rosalie's many robes. She mentally kicked herself, she should of put on her own robe, the one with her human scent. Just then her foot let out a squeak on the wood. It went unnoticed. Or so she thought._

"_It was sweet of you to stay in my home with me last night." Jane placed a well marbled hand on Edward's shoulder. After her eyes flicked around the room, "I appreciated the services you provided."_

_Edward nodded, "You're welcome but I don't think we should share that with my family nor Isabella." He shook his head. "They wouldn't take it lightly."_

_Bella pushed her hand to her mouth, keeping her whine from coming out. What exactly did he do last night? She looked at her ring finger on the hand that laid against the railing. The ring shone in the sun but it's shine no longer made her smile, it no longer made her cheeks dance with blood. It made her sick and made her see red in rage. She stood up as quietly as she came and escaped back to her room. Changing into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt she slipped on a pair of gym shoes and waited until she heard the door slam downstairs. She waited until she Emmett's booming voice announce the families return. She stood up quickly and walked down stairs, she slipped out of the front door with a few nods to the family leaving them to gather and chatter with out her._

I slipped to my knees I couldn't breathe, my hands felt like ice as I ran them over my hair. I closed my eyes falling to the floor in sudden exhaustion. I dreamed about fire, burning hellish flames invading my blood stream turning every ounce of liquid into a seething venom. I felt arms encase me and the movement of being carried, and I swore for a moment while I was being laid down on a soft surface my whole body ignited in flames.

There was a spark it lit for a moment then dimmed again. It continued to do so until I stirred, I looked at the flame as it continued on to its tentative dance. I reached out my cold fingers floating through the flame, I felt nothing as I saw the flames bend around my fingers.

"You shouldn't do that Bella…" His voice was hoarse. I looked up in confusion the room was to dark for me to see who it was.

"Bella?" I whispered, "I'm not…"

"I know, but you can't torture yourself either."

"I'm not torturing anyone.." I spoke a little more loudly.

The voice carried on as if I never spoke. "We will get your daughter back before dawn."

"Get me back? I'm right here.."

"You'll see, I ask you however to not chicken out."

"For what?"

"I'm glad you see it my way, Isabella." he clicked the lighter on once more holding it to his face. The dark marble skin, the burning red eyes and the dread locks that cupped his face.

"Who are you?" I sat up quickly, though my mind screamed to run away to find Kaleb I was walking toward him. I was holding onto his shoulder and collapsing into his body with shaking shoulders, my mind was screaming to run but my body was one under puppet strings.

"It has only been three days, I'm sure your infant is perfectly fine." He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me out a near by window I hadn't noticed before. I let out a blood curdling scream as I saw the grass come closer, but magically I landed on my feet. He landed next to me with smile. "You are a very quite newborn."

"What's going on?" I screamed at him but he simply flicked the lighter over his shoulder and no more then seconds later the house we were just in was engulfed in flames.

"Now are you ready to get your child back?"

He took off in angelic speed leaving me to follow behind just as gracefully. My mind was reeling in fear what was going on? Yet my mind stopped for moment to look at the gracefulness of the run. Would I run as graceful when I changed?

We brought up to the rear of a suburban home, he placed his arm in front of me to stop me. He crept carefully to the window and smiled motioning me to come forward. I took the slow steps against my will and saw the simple heart warming scene.

A woman, a blonde woman, was huddled over something in a small room. The room was painted pink with yellow zoo animals outlined on the walls, there was a red lamp on casting a calming glow over the baby furniture. The door opened tentatively and a man with a suit on entered, his brown hair disheveled due to hours of work. The woman turned gracefully to greet him revealing to us the small baby wrapped in the pink blanket.

Suddenly my mind went numb, I remember this, the yellow zoo animals and the woman. I remembered the tune she was humming and the scruffy sound of the man's voice.

"Are you ready?" He turned to me.

I so badly wanted to say no, but I felt my mouth form the word yes. I saw my hand punch through the glass window causing the couple to shriek. The man stood protectively in front of his family screaming about police and jail cells. But he was naïve no metal bars could hold us back, not even his wife's incessant pleading.

The man in dread locks pushed the man out of the way sending him flying into a nearby changing table. I fled to him instantly looking at his terror stricken blue eyes as my leaned down clamping my mouth around his neck. I wanted to cry as I tasted the blood, it was pure torture to feel, to smell, to taste but to have no control. He fought at first, sobbing and crying out to his wife but long before he could say more he was gone into the depths of death. He was no longer a tired working husband that came home from work to his wife and child, he was now a dead corpse in a baby's room. His skin was now pale, his lips swollen his eyes slightly bulged out. I turned to see the other vampire grabbing the woman by the neck, his lips lightly tracing over her neck. She clutched the baby crying and pleading to be free, to live for her child.

The man finished her with a powerful bite, I could hear her bones snap and her last breath as the baby slightly rolled out of her hands. I raced to it catching it in mid-air, I held the baby close to my chest and almost like remembrance in the baby's eyes she grabbed my forefinger nibbling on it lightly.

The body of the mother fell and all was silent. The man turned to me with a wicked smile on his face, "Now that I have the both of you here.." he reached out to the baby. "She smells delicious.."

I turned instinctively away not knowing what I had to him.

"I helped you find her, now I want a taste.."

I felt my lips move.

"You want to raise her?" He chuckled. "Maybe I should run that by the Volturi."

I don't know what happened, but I pushed him away from the baby and I. I set her down gently and then my eyes blurred over.

The walls were stained with blood, the red liquid was smeared across the zoo animals tainting their innocence. There was a fire building in intensity in the corner, the smell of burning flesh and wood swirled around the room. The red lamp now toppled over onto the floor but its clam glow turned eerily, the darkness outside the window only seemed to draw the picture in perfectly. I sat in the middle of the room cradling the baby rocking her slowly, it was only then I could finally hear my own words.

"Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember and a song someone sings once upon a December." It was gentle melody.

I was crying, hysterically the tears stung my cheeks like venom but the pain didn't pause them. I felt arms around me rocking my slowly, I felt my heart swell and deflate what was that? Those poor people… I began to gag feeling the man's blood taste lingering in my mouth. I didn't know whose arms wrapped around me but I didn't care I felt the depression hit me in waves.

"That's it let it out.." Her voice was like wind chimes. I looked over my shoulder and my eyes widened. Jane. I went to let out a scream but her hand clamped over my mouth. "I will kill you."

I frantically looked around the surroundings and noticed we were still in the barn but on the upper level where they kept the hay. I squirmed under her crushing grip, "You know for a vampire hybrid you are surely malfunctioning quite well." Her ice fingers wiped away a burning tear, "It's a shame he'll never see you I bet he would have been excited." I merely whimpered under her hand.

"Your mother eluded us for very long it was only a blessing that you came foolishly running back into the danger."

There was a stir outside the barn and I felt her squeeze my jaw almost to breaking point. Kaleb walked in lightly his fingers running along the damage of my hands on the car from earlier. "Jamie?" He called out looking around.

He sighed as he turned around walking out of the barn.

My heart ached begging him to turn around and look up, to see me, to save me.

"He's quiet impossible to beat, he's very protective of you." She let out a horrid giggle "Like your father was for your mother but I broke up that marriage sadly." She sighed. "But it all turned out okay, when your mother left I filled in her spot doing all the pleasurable things her weak self could not do."

She was wrong, I seen it, what my mother was capable of just moments ago. She killed for me, and I left her to find a man who she probably had reason to hide.

I felt the heat raise inside me again, the burning bubbled and boiled and it hurt like hell but I took that pain and drew it to anger, and from anger to strength. I swung my head backwards head butting her with a loud crack, she was startled letting me slip from her hands. I took the moment of freedom and spun myself over the ledge and fell the fourteen feet to the floor. My body hit with a thud but I felt no pain, I stood instantly as she jumped down. Her fingers latched around my neck and smashed me against the rabbit, she hissed inches from my face.

"You Cullens are so difficult."

There was growl that belonged to neither of us, we turned instantly and saw the large brownish black animal. It's large black eyes zeroed in on us with a growl, this animal was bigger then Bo.

Through out the years stories have been told and retold, they have been changed and stretched till they are no longer the recognizable truth.

I watched the animal jump into the air taking Jane down, it's nails barely grazing my arm. I yelped holding the bleeding scratches. There was blood oozing out but it was weird clouded blood, it was wasn't watery or light but dark and thick.

I heard my own hiss as I watched the blood drip. I looked over at the animal as it rolled around with Jane, she grabbed it by the ear and swung it into a near by column.

Then just like that, like an alarm sounding out in fire house. There were howls, many howls. I shrunk against the car as they came closer. Jane wildly spun around looking for the escape, almost as a mind reader, the large wolf pounced on her keeping her in place.

The barn doors flew open with Emily at the front of the pack of wolves, her night gown blowing in the wind wildly. The pack was like a stampede of wild beast, I closed my eyes as paws kicked off dirt in their charge. I felt warm arms cover my wound, I looked up at Emily not being able to hear a word she yelled, the howls and hisses, the growls and barks, the footsteps and paw thumps were all too loud for us to hear. Emily knelt down to my eye level she brought me into her chest as we curled into one ball as debris of the roof fell down upon us. I took a peek between her elbow and her chin, I could see Jane climbing and jumping around the wolves following into suit. She was too panicked to use her power, but still to clever to be caught.

As two wolves from both sides dove at her she threw herself into a nearby wall and out of the way. The frame of the barn shook violently, Emily tugged at my arms dragging me to my feet and we began to run for exit. Then there were cold hands at my ankle I yelped as, with one forceful tug, Jane had brought me to my back and Emily to her knees forcing our joined hands to separate.

Jane wrapped her cold hands around my neck and whispered, "You see, I just can't let you meet them." Then she brought me inches off the ground, as the wolves charged at as she turned wildly throwing me into the stampeding pack. She jumped high grabbing onto a roof support beam and the wolves growled endlessly nipping at her feet.

I laid on the floor curled into a ball, scratches now on my face due to the nails of the pack. I brought my fingers up to the substance and let out a small sob of pain.

I turned onto my knees looking up at Jane as she began to swing herself to gain momentum. It was only a spilt second of hesitation but I knew what she was going to do.

I jumped to my feet and ran to the ladder leading up to a higher cut off ledge. I ran at inhumane speed, the blood quickly drying. I watched Jane hang there doing here calculations, I watched Emily dance around the floor looking for me. I backed up all the way against the wall…I was going to jump.

"_Don't do this to us Isabella." _My father's voice rang in my ears. I felt my knee falter in surprise.

"_I have to go." _My mother's voice whispered.

I looked around feeling my sanity twist into a knot, I was hearing them, in my head. I closed my eyes blocking my parents out and just went with instinct.

In that second I was running, and in the next second I was in the air colliding with Jane inches above Emily's head.

Our bodies made a thunderous clap as we hit the dirt, her cold hands balling into my hair tugging at me to loosen her into freedom. But I had her, and I had her good.

I felt strength surge through my body and squeezed hard hearing her bones crack under my pressure, yet just as suddenly as the noise came, it left. I was weak again and my grip on her was like a toddler's on mother. With one pull on my hair I was off and flying into a wall. There was a loud deafening crack above me and I looked up just in time to see the large wood paneling coming down on me.

~*~_"I can't find her." Alice whispered to Edward who stood in his tuxedo at the Alter. Edward looked at the pale blonde man holding the bible. _

"_Carlisle?" He whispered in need. _

"_Alice," Carlisle cleared his throat at the young woman in the red dress. "Take Jasper and Emmett, look around the grounds for her. Rosalie and I will stall, Edward….stay calm." _

_Bella waded around the woods slowly, the long white dress she wore trailing behind her. Her white heels sunk into the mud as she heard the tears of her dress. Her hair that was once up in some design on her head was no limp around her shoulders. Her bouquet of red roses were held limply in her hand as she ran her hand over the growing bump in her stomach. _

"_Bella?" She heard the calls from behind her._

_She picked up her dress and ran quickly, her dress's train sweeping the forest floor. She was at full speed until she ran into him. _

_She screamed falling back into the tree. "Damnit Jasper." _

"_My dress!" Alice ran forward grabbing Bella's hem looking at the damage. She fell to her knees looking up the human who looked away in shame. _

"_What are you doing?" Jasper whispered holding Bella's shoulders._

"_I can't…" Bella whispered into the forest floor until there were two more figures appearing from the bushes. _

"_Isabella?" Edward said stepping in front of the large man who helped bring him here. He looked at Alice who laid dejected onto the floor. He could see what she was seeing and just as his hand had reached out for his future wife it retracted and laid limply at his side. Jasper could feel it, the heart break the swept over his lover and his brother. He turned back to Bella and some how in her teary eyes and trembling lip he knew exactly what Alice was seeing._

_Bella let her dress fall around her legs again, her white dress in contrast of the forest's darkness and ugly moods. She brought her hand to her eyes and wiped away the falling tear looking back at Edward who stared intently at the trees above them. His chiseled jaw line, his bobbing adam's apple. It took a lot to make Edward look human to her. Yet in that moment, the way his chest heaved as if he needed more oxygen he never looked more real to her. _

_She moved slowly as Jasper quietly stepped out her way. Her foot steps were slow and soft, she had no reason to run anymore. She walked with slow breaths as along the way she dropped her bouquet and it landed with a splash into a puddle. _

_She was free. _

"Jamie!" There was movement. I opened my eyes and say drywall covering my vision. The weight crush down on me causing me to gasp in pain.

"Kaleb!" I called out a loud as I could I felt my lungs weaken.

Just like that the biggest piece of dry wall was lifted, Kaleb holding it high above his head. I was allowed to see the group of werewolves staring at me with amazement among them Bo.

Kaleb tossed the drywall somewhere into the distance I could hear it crack as it landed. He fell to his knees and began to dig me out I reached frantically for his hands as he yanked me free and into his arms. He wore nothing but shorts as he rocked me slightly in his arms.

"You crazy, crazy girl." He whispered as his shoulders fell in relief. "I could kill you for your stupidity."

"Did we win?" I whispered.

"She got away." he sighed.

"Kaleb?" I felt my arm sting. "We have to talk.."

"Jamie I doubt this is the best time for a talk and all." Kaleb called out after me. I held my wounded arm to my midsection refusing to let anyone bandage it before hand. I held on to myself tightly as we walked away from the wreckage I had brought upon this group.

When my answer didn't come Kaleb fell into step behind me. The sound of our feet crunching through leaves being the only thing bouncing off the trees. We walked a good awhile through the dark forest, with my stumbling and Kaleb's hand steadying me as he guided me to where I directed.

We finally hit some where I found comfort, the slight glow of the moon sending me all the light I needed. I may not have night vision but I still had enhanced vision. I made my way to a tree stump and looked up at him, he stood a few inches away his arms crossed over his chest watching the mosquitoes land on my arm to only fly away seconds later when they learned my blood was no better then mud to them. I lifted my pale fingers and ran them over the cuts in my arm, the blood wiping with my fingers. I could feel his eyes, and his questions. This talk was so spontaneous that it had suspicion written all over it.

"Jamie?" He whispered his voice bounced around us.

I looked up at him and took a deep breath. "Kaleb," I looked at the moon for strength. "Why did you walk away from me earlier in the barn?"

He leaned against a tree and sighed. "The song…the old woman who mentored me used to sing it all the time. But I wouldn't have left if I had known that she was close." He bit his lip in anger, no doubt directed at himself.

"Have you imprinted on me?" Just like ripping off a band-aid, I had to know. I had been forced to watch my parents become joined and then watched them fall apart due to ill choices and misunderstood words, I was not about to let it happen to me. I was on a mission when I left home and my mission hasn't changed but if I found love on the way, if I found a love so strong I could take it back to my father I could show him that love is strong and could face anything. It could face vampire attacks, being on the streets, fighting other worldly things and yes even being separated.

He sucked in a large breath before turning away. "Do you even know what that means?" He whispered.

"Yes" I whispered.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" Kaleb whispered rubbing the bridge of his nose.

I held out my wounded arm, making direct eye contact with him. "I can guarantee you, Jane will be back. She will hunt me down for reasons I can't even begin to understand. Each time she comes for me she will knock out who ever is her way. You see this?" I said as I drew my finger through the drying blood. "This is just one wound of many done to us as a pair. When we meet with Twilight and Victoria there will be a group, there will be a _baby_ in danger." I kneeled down to face him.

He looked away from me. "How do you know her name?"

"I saw her, with my…ability. She wants me dead for something my parents did before I was born possibly, or she wants me dead because I was born. I'm not sure which one yet, but this Kaleb? This is what it's going to be like from this point on till I step foot into my father's arms. Yet even then Jane will still have to be fought because I doubt she'll stop there. There will be blood, on both ends you will face death, you will face complete loss, and you might loose a few morals. I've seen what vampires can do to humans, to anything in their way. I watched my mother kill an innocent for me, I've tasted an innocents blood by force. It won't stop."

"You forget I'm not the most normal person either." His warm hands wrapped around my wound causing it to tingle. We were so close, our bodies barely apart, yet I felt so distant from him.

"You are a wolf. You change at will, you fight vampires." My eyes searched his begging for the answer. "But at the end of the day you still snore, you still dream you have the ability to cry. Your specialties stop at will but mine don't, I could be in the middle of anything and become useless due to a memory by a simple touch or feeling. I can have burst of super human strength and coordination then I can become like an infant within the next moment. Jane knows this and she will use it to every advantage she will bait you to your death with it."

"Jamie…"

"Is it worth it? Is it worth putting your life on the line to just escort me to Washington? Have you thought about what happens after? What happens when I meet my father and there is no longer a reason for you to protect me?"

"I…" He looked away then down at his hand over my wound. "I would still hang around until Jane is gone, till I know that's where you want to be.."

"It is, I've seen my father and he…" I smiled widely. "Exactly how I pictured him and I think it will be the one place I feel as if I belonged."

He began to wipe away the blood on my arm with his hands.

"Did you?" I whispered stopping his hand with mine.

"Did I what?"

"Kaleb.." I was stern.

For once he was like a child, our roles reversed completely. He was no longer the brooding strong leader, he was the one with his heart to bare and I was the one choosing what pieces of it I yearned to listen to. His sigh was broken and he shook his head.

"No, I haven't" He ran his hand over his jeans to wipe away the sweat and blood.

"I thought you told Andrew…"

"I did." He nodded "I didn't want anyone to touch you so I figured if they thought…"

"Oh." I muttered. I wasn't sure what I felt at this moment.

"But I feel this…strong tie to you." He whispered reaching for my shoulders but I ducked out of his reach.

I walked a few feet away from him in silence, my mind pushing through it all. I raked at hair behind my ear before turning to look at him.

"So you're risking your life for a strong feeling?" I didn't know where to start.

"Jamie I can handle this." He took a step forward the moon bathing down on him. "I was _made _for this purpose, to kill monsters like Jane."

"I think it's best if we spilt up here." I looked off the to side.

He closed our distance and grabbed my face forcefully in his hands. Then just like our roles reversed once more, he had more cards up his sleeve and I had bared all of mine. "Is this about that woman? We will kill her_, I will _kill her."

I shook my head in his rough palms.

"Jamie I have raced back to you in every situation where you could be hurt. I've saved you so many times, and just because I haven't imprinted you want to just spilt up?"

"I can't be distracted." I whispered forcefully angry that he was insulting my line of thought. "I have a goal on this trip and it doesn't include becoming distracted by a _feeling _and I'm not about to get hurt either."

"I won't hurt you." He whispered.

I yanked away from his hands. "How could you say that? Here we are traveling across the country what happens if you imprint on some other girl along the way? You cant tell me that you'd stick with me for the remainder of the trip, that you'd date me instead of the girl."

He stood silent.

"I can drive the car the rest of the way to Washington. I'll talk to Emily about getting you guys back home." I sighed.

There was shaking. Then there was snarling, his skin crawled like animals lived under it. I backed away crouching slightly ready to pounce. Just like that Kaleb disappeared and his place a dark brown wolf stood snarling at me before turning quickly on it's paws and running through the trees.

I sank down to knees and took a deep breath, I knew if my mother was here she would be proud.

I picked up a rock and walked through the trees again. I felt the small wind run through the leaves above my head, it was dawn the sun raising above the world slowly.

When I was closer to the house the sun was well over my head, the sun shining so brightly my skin danced under the light.

"Jamie?" Emily said exiting the home, the screen door slammed behind her. I turned to look at her, when our eyes met she gasped.

"Yea?" I whispered.

She just gapped at me, I shifted under her stare and then cleared by throat. "I'm sorry, you just look so much like him.." She walked down the steps and held out a pair of keys. "It's to the rabbit, Kaleb said it's ready to be driven." I took the keys from her hands and opened my mouth unable to form the sentence.

"Where is he?"

"I have no idea…" Emily whispered before pulling me into a large hug. "Call me when you get to Forks, then we'll all come down for a celebration." She whispered.

Have you ever noticed when you've gotten everything off your chest you have this empty abandoned feeling? Like you've said it all so now what?

I thought this as I ran my fingers over the rabbit's hood. Sure I wasn't old enough to drive but then again I really needed to get out of here. My goodbyes were said, well to Andrew anyway everyone's other goodbyes were to bitter to have. I slid into the drivers seat starting the engine I heard it purr, the I pressed the gas lightly. Then I was on the road driving fast with my book bag in the back seat my skin shining in the sun. I stared at the map Emily insisted I take and felt the anger surge through me, I felt so silly for taking so much time to leave her. I looked at the empty road ahead of me, I just wanted my father and as for Kaleb I wished he had never even happened.

* * *

**Cross your fingers and maybe Kaleb would imprint on jamie.**

**And maybe just maybe Jamie will run into someone from her parents past...**

**any idea who?  
Cant be a Cullen or a Black. **


End file.
